Powered by Purpose...

Be it resolved that 2012 was a positive and effective year of growth for me as a wife, mother and woman (with all that encompasses).
I had a grand second full year of mothering, growing, grooming, teaching, caring for and loving on Grace Evan Williams Wesson (the pictures will continue to come:o)  She's potty trained, can count to 25, is sociable and joyful, even tempered and well adjusted (for an almost 3 year old:o)
I have learned a lot about myself as a wife to Dale Wesson.  I continue to try and be more vulnerable and unconditionally loving and less judgmental and "right".  I continue to grow in the fact that he loves me and chose me and is committed to me.
As a woman, I've grown in wisdom.  I've become more accepting of folk and "their ways" without compromising myself. I've learned to pray more. I've become softer in my old age and desire to be more involved with the people who are invested in me and my best self. I've also decided that the important moments in life may not always involve the people I thought were important.  They hold no less value, but the reality of the relationships has become clearer.
I have learned to wait on God as opposed to rushing to do something when I feel at a loss.
I have accepted that being without an immediate community of friends and family only helps me to be stronger and grows me closer to God and my husband (which is a great thing).
I've learned that old friends are constant even if you don't see them or talk to them often and new friends can be true friends too.

Be it resolved that I will walk into my re-invented self as a thriving career woman in 2013.  I AM a journalist.  I AM a writer and will be an author.  I AM a blogger.  I AM a marriage advocate. I AM an effective communicator who will earn a living doing the things I enjoy doing and am good at doing (see above list of I AM statements ).  I AM powered by purpose and will continue to not just live, but excel and thrive in the coming year.

Be it resolved that YOU TOO can excel and thrive if you trust HIM and walk in HIS ways.  What are the things you've been praying for?  Hold on to that and set yourself up to receive it.  Continue to seek God's guidance, surround yourself with the folk who are interested in your best self, do the work and be open to receiving.

Be it resolved that every year has its number (as the old folks say).  Some didn't make it and many of us have suffered the loss of a loved one be it relative or friend.  To that I say be strong in the Lord and in the power of HIS might.  Feel the pain when it comes and hold the memories close.

Blessings for a healthy, joyful and prosperous New Year.  Here's to a safe transition from the old to the new. 

A State of Grace...

Grace is sleep.  I played and sang and danced and ran about all day with her and her cousins, Williams Tyler and Mya.  Today, I wore THEM out!  We went riding around the neighborhood to look at the lights and came back to get ready for the "new pajama" slumber party.  What a day....what a week...what a season of love and caring and life lessons.  At the playground today, Grace and Mya were walking the perimeter of the monkey bars and slides trying to balance.  Mya is 5, so of course she's more coordinated and faster.  Grace would walk behind her trying to keep up to the point that she kept falling off.  I'd say, "Grace, you don't have to keep up with Mya, just go at your own pace".  But of course, she wasn't hearing me.  She'd rather run and fall over in an effort to keep up with Mya. It just reminded me of... me.  Thankfully, as Advent ends, I'm more aware of the Joy in the effort to balance my life. I don't want to just keep up!  I anticipate....I'm preparing....but I also remember and am grateful for what is. 

Luke 2:11 Today in the town of David, a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord


In spite of and because of the things in this life, I aim for a constant state of Grace...and it's not of myself...it's a gift from God.

A State of Grace...

Having a nice time with family in Jacksonville, FL. It's been pretty low key, but  I so enjoy Grace having the chance to play and play and play with her cousins.  I've heard of "only children" talking about the special relationships they have with their close cousins because they grew up together like siblings.  It's a joy to watch. 

Went to Mother's 85th birthday party last night.  She's my sister in laws mother and she has 9 children, 22 grand, 11 great grand and 2 great great grand.  It was indeed a celebration of life!

The sermon in church today talked about the coming of Christ and how that makes me great.  If "you never wear red bottom shoes, you're great because Christ came for you."  I RECEIVE IT!

OVERJOYED!

In spite of and because of the things in this life, I aim for a constant state of Grace...and it's not of myself...it's a gift from God.

A State of Grace...

We made it to Jacksonville!  It's the start of the Christmas holiday for us.  Two of three brothers live here and one sister, a host of nieces, a nephew and plenty of extended family will join us.  The Wessons arrived early to beat the family rush which starts around noon tomorrow.  The warm and fuzzies start almost immediately when you get with family.  Trust me naysayers, I know....I have some family members that suck the warm and fuzzy right out of me pretty quickly too.  But, the fact remains that WE ARE FAMILY.  I'm going to "NOT" blow my healthy eating ( as I enjoy a glass of Merlot:o) Yes, headed to the YMCA in the morning.  Enjoy your holiday as the advent season continues for another four days. If you too will be with family this holiday, anticipate the best time ever and see if that energy doesn't resonate with those around  you.  Hug momma and kiss daddy more times than you can count.  They miss that from you!  Say hi to old neighbors and church members who remember you when you were but a child; they had a hand in raising you.  Have a cocktail or a cup of tea with an old friend; laughs filled with memories go a long way.  I think these things are in line with the spirit of Christmas.

Luke 2:14 "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests."

 
In spite of and because of the things in this life, I aim for a constant state of Grace...and it's not of myself...it's a gift from God.   

A State of Grace...

Just a couple of things of confirmation to share....

So, I applied for a job, interviewed and auditioned, turned in paperwork, talked about start dates, salaries and all manner of things that would have made me think I was getting the job.  After about three months, because that's how long the process took,  I got a call from the hiring News Director who said to me, "I wanted to call you personally and tell you that we were going with someone else".  #Lump in my throat #Gut Punch.  He went on to say all sorts of thoughtful and complementary things about how great I was and how he wanted to find a place for me (after having hired someone who already had an on air presence in the market).  It never manifested, but I have kept in touch with him.  Fast forward a year and a half later (this week) and he's fired.  WHAT!  The short of the long is that his boss decided to go in another direction and...he's gone.  Now, I've been on the short end of the stick when another boss, who didn't hire me, took over.  It resulted in me not getting my contract renewed and having a glorious six months to plan my wedding before getting a call that would put me back to work.  The job wasn't for me even though I lamented for a few days about how I just knew I was going back to work and how great it would be.  Greatness is in unwavering faith!

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future

Bath & Body Works had a sale on the three wick candles.  They were $8/each, which is phenomenal considering the usual $20 price tag.  I bought 6; 3 stress relief from the aromatherapy and three lavender vanilla.  I smelled some of the more full bodied scents (sandalwood vanilla being one of them), but decided to go with my usual.  I have company over the weekend for a little impromptu gathering and decide to bless my two girlfriends with a candle a piece.  I was glad to share in the eliminating of their stress so I thought nothing more about it.  Today, after running errands, I get home to a package on the front porch from my Mother-In-Law.  I open it and was gifted two Bath & Body Works Sandalwood Vanilla candles. :o)  And get this....the box also contained one of those holders the store has started selling for the 3 wick candles.  Never talked to Momma Rose about candles and she's never given me candles before.  Matters not whom I've talked to when God wants to bless me!

1 Corinthians 2:9 "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him"


In spite of and because of the things in this life, I aim for a constant state of Grace...and it's not of myself...it's a gift from God.   

A State of Grace...

Time is filled with swift transition,
Naught of earth unmoved can stand,
Build your hopes on things eternal,
Hold to God’s unchanging hand.
 
Refrain:
Hold to God’s unchanging hand,
Hold to God’s unchanging hand;
Build your hopes on things eternal,
Hold to God’s unchanging hand.
 
Trust in Him who will not leave you,
Whatsoever years may bring,
If by earthly friends forsaken
Still more closely to Him cling.
 
Covet not this world’s vain riches
That so rapidly decay,
Seek to gain the heav’nly treasures,
They will never pass away.
 
When your journey is completed,
If to God you have been true,
Fair and bright the home in glory
Your enraptured soul will view.


In spite of and because of the things in this life, I aim for a constant state of Grace...and it's not of myself...it's a gift from God.  

A State of Grace...

While running errands this morning, I saw parents picking up big ticket items from lay away (yes, some places do still lay it away:o)  Anyhoo, it made me smile thinking about all the wonderful Christmas mornings I woke up to find that I'd been a good girl!  The play kitchen complete with pots and pans and some food too; roller skates; new bikes every few years and...WAIT FOR IT... cabbage patch dolls complete with birth certificates...these are just a few of the prized Christmas treasures from over the years.  Growing up in Florida, the weather could go either way.  Sometimes it would be warm enough to wear shorts on Christmas but more often than not, I could sport some new leather boots or a new leather jacket.  It was Christmas after all.  Purses and jewelry were a favorite in high school.  I looked at my "L" ring in my jewelry box just the other day.  You know, the one in cursive and very 14K gold and very cute for the pointer finger and WAIT FOR IT....The add-a-bead necklace; also very 14K gold and cute.  Then there were the Aigner and Dooney and Burke purses.  Oh wait....penny loafers and duck boots and birkenstocks.  And how could I not mention the clothes from GAP, The Limited and United Colors of Benetton.  CD's are all the rave now, but back when I got a double cassette boom box with detachable speakers, you could have blown me over with a feather.  I'm pretty sure I got the Thriller cassette the same year...YES!!! One of my fondest Christmas memories, that me and my sisters live out to this day. is new pajamas on Christmas eve.  I've started doing it for Grace, too.  My mom, sisters and I would put on our new pajamas and cut up onions and peppers for the dressing or peel the potatoes for the sweet potato pies while sipping eggnog.  Soon it would be time for me to go to bed... until I was old enough to stay up and help wrap presents for my nieces who would be over Christmas day.  It was a wonderful life filled with some of the trappings of a commercial Christmas but mostly with the preciousness of family and memories in the making.

A little melancholy today as I remember my mother who died 12 years ago.  Thank God for the mother she was and inspired me to be.  MARSELL BULLOCK WILLIAMS


In spite of and because of the things in this life, I aim for a constant state of Grace...and it's not of myself...it's a gift from God.  

A State of Grace...

The Gospel lesson today was Luke's account (3:7-18) of John the Baptist going about preaching and baptizing "with water".  John called the people a brood of vipers and told them that they should "bear fruit worthy of repentance."  He went on to reiterate that point by saying bear fruit or else...be thrown into the fire.  I translate that as Bear fruit or be consumed by despair;  Bear fruit or be overcome with over eating, over spending, over indulging; bear fruit or be thrown into a pattern of lying and cheating and deceiving as a way of over compensating for the lack of love, joy, peace, kindness, goodness, faithfulness (the fruits of the spirit) in life.  Here's the good news...we lit the Rose candle today in celebration of the 3rd Sunday of Advent. REJOICE!!!  We've gone from the penitence and fasting of the purple candles to the rejoicing of the rose candle.  A season of celebration is upon us.  The birth of the Christ child is at hand!  As we wrap up the shopping and packing and begin to plan for travel and feasts and family, be mindful of the Advent of it all. 
Start with Expectation or Hope, LIVE the story of Redemption, REJOICE and plan to light the center or Christ candle on Christmas Eve or Christmas day in honor of HIS coming.  'Tis the season:o)

Cooked some chili last night and made a couple of dips and had a few people over.  REJOICE!  We talked, laughed and enjoyed the spirit of the season.  The Wessons do enjoy entertaining so it was fun:o)
Note: Low Fat Egg Nog is low on taste as well.  

In spite of and because of the things in this life, I aim for a constant state of Grace...and it's not of myself...it's a gift from God. 

A State of Grace...

Grace and I were out together when I heard about the school shooting in Connecticut.  I can't imagine what it must be like for a parent to hear the news that a shooting took place at their child's school, have to make their way to the school without being able to confirm whether or not their child is okay and then get to the school and be told that your child is not okay...beyond not okay....that their child is dead.  It's unfathomable.  I sometimes think that I post too many pictures of Grace (and I do:o) or that I write about or talk about her too much (and I do:o)...but, she is my baby.  She is a precious gift from God, and I'm grateful to have been given the charge of watching over and raising her.  It gets complicated when you hear news like this today and think...those parents just dropped their kids off at school.  Surely they didn't think that would be the last time they spoke to or saw their babies alive.  I grew up saying, "If the Lord's will, then I'll be there", or "If the Lord's will, I see you tomorrow", because the truth is, we don't know what's going to happen from one moment to the next.  That's little consolation for the parents, families and communities of the babies who lost their lives today at the hands of a merciless killer.  This tragedy affects us all.  I believe many parents are holding their children a little tighter today.  We do all we can to ensure safety, yet, this world and its ills make that increasingly more difficult.  My heart goes out to the parents who were planning for the holidays and will now have to plan funerals.  This is one of those times when I try to make sense of the tragedy and am left in want.  I watched the President of the United States, Barack Obama, fight back tears as he offered condolences to the families.  Governors, anchors and reporters alike were all reminded ( as they spoke through emotion) that behind titles and roles of importance, we are but mere mortals who struggle to make sense of that which is senseless.
I thank God for Grace and pray for us all.

We went for our evening ride to see lights in nearby neighborhoods.  It's nice to see the season being celebrated.

Let's us stay strong in the power of HIS might.

In spite of and because of the things in this life, I aim for a constant state of Grace...and it's not of myself...it's a gift from God. 

A State Of Grace...

 Starting....NOW... GIVE UP one cup of coffee or one glass of wine or one carbonated beverage or one snack.
TAKE ON one day of exercising or spending 15 minutes in devotion or learning to speak a language.
Stop taking his calls; stop saying you don't want to get married if you do and find ways to grow the relationship you're in.
Get ahead of the New Year and start now with the things you want for yourself.  If you want a better career, take a course or learn a new trade.  WE CAN DO IT! 
 My challenge is my weight and I've decided to give up several things to get it under control....SACRIFICE.  I've shared before that I miss pizza sooooo much and occasionally used to enjoy a cupcake.  Not now.  Right now, I am in battle and need to be fight my vices.  There are things that I've cut back on and then there are things that I've started to enjoy more than before (asparagus sauteed just right in a pat of butter are pretty yummy:o), and baked or smoked chicken wings dipped in a little sauce have become a fan favorite at the Wesson home.  ALTER a few bad habits (and I mean that in every sense of the word).  We are wonderfully and fearfully made.  Surely that busy schedule or lack of self control or inability to deny ourselves....surely those things can't be blamed always.  I'm in the trenches and I celebrate your efforts.  READY....SET....GO!

Grace had a grand time playing Princess in her Princess Tiana dress with her Princess Tiana doll and Panda (don't know how poor Panda got roped in).  We danced and flew around and she waved her wand (or whisk:o) on her way to the castle!  I was a dutiful fairy who flew around spreading my magic dust!  I'M HER BEST BUDDY (she told me so)!

Dale and I are having our own Scandal watching party.  It's one of the few shows that we watch together and both enjoy.  Yes, I watch the Daily Show and Colbert Report and he watches countless hours of news.  The things we do for LOVE.

In spite of and because of the things in this life, I aim for a constant state of Grace...and it's not of myself...it's a gift from God. 

A State of Grace...

I got some braids/twists today.  I went with the Kinky Twists as opposed to the Senegalese Twists.  After researching pictures and time and possibilities, the Kinky Twists seemed more versatile and a good start to a season of braids and growing out my perm.  I also didn't want them to be too long, and every picture I saw of the Senegalese Twists had them down your back.  That would have been too much to start with.  Grace was already a little scared when she first saw me.  It didn't take but a few strokes of a twist for her to be ready to dive in.  Of course with my scalp being a little tender from the pulling and stretching and twisting, we'll wait a couple of days before we "play hair".  So, am I going natural?  I can't say for sure.  What I can say is this...I feel like Vershawn Mitchell's latest gospel hit "Turning around for me....sooner or later, it will work in my favor....it's turning around for me". Life is already great, but I'm going to new places.  As I near 40, I feel like my 30's were me establishing myself, my career, my family....I want to use the 40's to transform each aspect of my being.   TRANSFORM...ESCALATE...MOVE FORWARD/HIGHER.  I look at my very cute :o) permed hair and want to know what my hair underneath that would be like.  It's been since 9th grade that I saw my natural hair.   Truth be told, I'm more inclined to be a flat ironing/straightening chemical free girl.  I'm not sure what this process is, but I feel good to say I'm in the PROCESS. 

Thinking about my list of successes for this year.  I usually do a "be it resolved " blog to put the year to rest.  As the recording secretary for my home church growing up, I'd write and read resolutions at funerals.  The older I got, the more I understood that groups, other churches and individuals were accounting for the things that had occurred in the lives of the deceased and getting them on record.  It's a good practice to end many things.  Anyway, I want to spend some time reflecting on what I did right/good this year so as to continue in that direction.

I missed Grace all day while I was getting my hair done.  She and daddy of course were hamming it up and going about their day, and that's a good thing.

Speaking of daddy....SHOUT out to my husband , Dale, who hates it when I alter my hair be it weave, color, braids or the like but insists on letting me be me and is happy when I feel good about myself. 

In spite of and because of the things in this life, I aim for a constant state of Grace...and it's not of myself...it's a gift from God. 

A State of Grace...

My Advent lesson this morning shared the story of a busy train commute and how all along the way, everyone's talking about their family's, jobs and lives.  The author went on to say that there was one quiet car on the train where no talking, phones, or other noises were allowed (fiction, I'm sure:o)  After having a hectic week, the author spent a commute home in the quiet car and was profoundly transformed in those 45 minutes.  The point was for us to also find some quiet in the midst of the craziness of the holiday season. Make it more holy and less hectic.  I'm finished Christmas shopping and gifts are wrapped and under the tree.  I intentionally get it done early so as not to have to contend with the last minute of it all.  Granted, there are little things here and there that will call for me to join the rat race, but for the most part, I really am trying to create a spirit of calm and a state of Grace in this season...in my life.  Today, while writing, I turned off the Christmas music (which I so enjoy) and just let the silence speak to me.  Of course, I could hear the clock ticking, the washing machine spinning and the refrigerator humming.  But with the scents of eucalyptus and mint permeating the room and a cup of lemon jasmine green tea, my moment's peace was extended to an hour and a half (nap time:o)  #ANTICIPATING GOODNESS

Grace and I saw a homemade applesauce recipe in her Highlights magazine.  We made it, and it's good.  The best part was probably smashing the apples with her at the end.  #YUMMY GOODNESS

Grace is watching Doc McStuffins on the Ipad, I'm writing on my MacBook and Dale is on his Ipad, he called it the new nuclear family.  Fortunately for the state of our family, we do unplug and talk and read and enjoy just being.  I guess just not right now:o) FAMILY TIME GOODNESS

Seeing and maybe even having to find the GOOD in things, situations and especially people really does change one's perspective.

In spite of and because of the things in this life, I aim for a constant state of Grace...and it's not of myself...it's a gift from God. 

A State of Grace...

I think I am very much caught up in the debate on colorism.  For starters, I do acknowledge that it still exists, and I didn't need CNN to tell me that.  Dale and I barely watched "Who's Black in America".  I'm not a huge fan of CNN always putting Soledad O'Brien up as the stations image bearer of blackness in this country.  You'd think there would be more diversity but just about every anchor on that station who's supposed to be of color is what's now considered racially ambiguous.  IF Soledad identifies black, then as far as I'm concerned, she is. I'd still like to see more people at the desk who look like me.  Along those same lines, Grace was invited to a birthday party earlier this year by some folks we met at the YMCA.  The mom, dad and both children ( a girl and boy) are very light skinned with what's stereotypically called "good hair", and the paternal grandparents are mulatto. When we get to the party, it strikes me that I and the nanny are the only two people there who wouldn't have passed the "brown bag" test.  I started thinking about whether or not it was an intentional effort on the part of every person in that family to keep the fair skin gene pool alive.  I have friends who date exclusively in their light skin hue of the African-American spectrum for fear that any other choice might be rejected by mom and dad.  It's akin to the cultural indoctrination that Carter G. Woodson spoke about in the Mis-Education of the Negro.  That book was written in 1933 and yet, here we are.  I sometimes wonder if I'm more aware of it because of my dark complexion.  I'm not self conscious about it, but I am aware of it.  I have nappy hair and a wide nose.  My lips are thick and my eyes dark.  I am a black woman, but I accept that I don't have the black woman market cornered.  There are women of all hues who identify as black, and I respect that.  My dad lived in a time where they'd say, "If you're white, you're all right; if you're brown, stick around; if you're black, get back".  Now we don't say those words, but I wonder.

I pulled out my electric blanket this evening.  It's not extremely cold, but it's damp out and this blanket, AFTER MY HUSBAND OF COURSE:O), is the coziest thing in the house.  It was my second favorite wedding present after a pair of Crate & Barrel lap table trays.  TROUBLE :O)

Bought some walnuts in the shell.  When I saw them in the store, I was reminded of my dad.  We'd watch television while cracking our nuts by squeezing two nuts together. (none of that nutcracker stuff:o)  Mine would often be crushed into tiny pieces, and daddy would share his whole nuts with me because he was better at it than I.  I'm only a little better at it now.  Still more tiny walnut pieces than I'd like, but the memories are whole and fully in tact. 

In spite of and because of the things in this life, I aim for a constant state of Grace...and it's not of myself...it's a gift from God. 

A State of Grace...

Few people know that I had a discerning committee to see if I was being called to the ministry as an Episcopal priest.  I know.  My committee actually said I should go to seminary but I wasn't ready for that call if it was indeed so and decided to be a journalist.  I spread the good news in other ways:o)
I was thinking about that as I sat in church today.  Father Griffin and Deacon Dianna are just doing their jobs I suppose as they go through the liturgy for the day and give sermons and prayers and pass down blessings.  But to me, it's always so special and reverent to experience God through every aspect of service.  I was raised baptist and was confirmed in the Episcopal church, while in college, after having been the youth minister at Grace Mission in Tallahassee, FL.  It was the outreach station for the Episcopal diocese of North Florida.  I fell in love with the kids I worked with and came to appreciate praise and worship in a way I hadn't experienced up until that point.  I do love me some gospel music though and will wear some gospel out on the way to and from church because at church it's all hymns.  I remember when I first joined St. Michael and All Angels in Tallahassee, I said to Mrs. Little (God rest her soul) that church would be perfect if we sang gospel.  She said "well then, you'd lose me.  I don't like that music."  I realized in that moment that our worship and praise are different all around.  The good news is that God is the same.    YAY GOD!

Earlier today, my neighbor Mary brought the Wessons a load of pumpkin bread for the holidays.  When we moved here almost three years ago, she'd just lost her son in a freak boating accident on the dam.  She wasn't very sociable and our worlds seemed miles apart.  When we speak across our yards, I see her heart and I hear what is still pain and sadness.  Yet, in all of that, she thought enough of us to bring us a holiday treat.

Hosted the Christmas party last night at DW Headquarters Hair Salon and JAAS Jewelry.  The owners, Denise Williams and Shonna Williams have become fast friends of mine.  They are both sassy, stylish and sophisticated.  I'm glad to have a place that feels familiar and fun with girlfriends.  We played games, ate food and enjoyed the season with their clients and other invited guests. FRIENDS

I'm putting Christmas cards in the mail tomorrow.  I've been backing them all weekend.  I've already received a couple of cards and I love it..from the pictures to the sweet words of the season.

Today is one of my sister's birthday.  We talked at length about her plans and celebration.  Last year this time, Grace and I were in Boston celebrating her 50th with her.  It was a fun time.  This year, we sang happy birthday to her over the phone.  Not as momentous but special all the same.  Blessings to Rochell Williams on her 51st birthday.  FAMILY


In spite of and because of the things in this life, I aim for a constant state of Grace...and it's not of myself...it's a gift from God. 

A State of Grace...

I've been looking at Christmas pictures from Grace's first two years.  It's funny how quickly the transition happens.  One minute she's barely aware of the change in seasons and holidays and the next minute (year) she's talking about Santa bringing her dollies and toys and candy.  Some of the things she says, I just wonder, "where does her little mind get this"?  She's growing and changing and I'm transitioning into the super mom of a toddler extraordinaire and it's SOMETHING ALRIGHT.  I'm glad we're moving forward.  FORWARD MOVEMENT MEANS LEAVING SOME THINGS BEHIND; even the things we enjoyed at that point in life.

I miss pizza and cupcakes.  I miss a lot of other things that I've given up since trying to transform my physical being, but those two...I REALLY MISS.  I enjoyed them when we were together, but it wasn't really a good relationship.  I mean, it wasn't toxic and it didn't hurt immediately, but they were killing me softly.   So it is with a few people in my life.  I miss you.  If I speak it, then it's acknowledged in a way that allows me to MOVE FORWARD.  I try not to dabble.  My personality is such that when I indulge in pizza, I go all in.  If pizza is bad for me, then so it is and let it be. WHAT OR WHO IS KILLING YOU SOFTLY.  I mean, they or it don't pose an immediate threat to your life, but overindulging (and for some, simply being in their presence) will surely take away a part of your maturation and growth.  And, you've no doubt worked hard to get where you are.

 It's Friday night and the living is easy! :o)

I'm reading 1776.  I never have and I want to.  

When do kids learn to differentiate between color and traits?  As I watch Grace play with her playmates, she's so open.  I wonder what messages of "being closed" I send.    How do I turn it around and do I really desire to do so?

My hair salon is throwing a Christmas party tomorrow night and I AM IN CHARGE OF GAMES.   These ladies have become fast friends; a God send really.  My stylist called me two days ago to ask me when I wanted to come and get my hair done.  I go in the morning.
 
Speaking of hair, and this is my final thought for the night...I'm getting braids for the holidays and I think I'm just going to go with it and see what happens.  I want to go to newer heights...grow...transform. I want to be different...better...that may mean changing some things.


In spite of and because of the things in this life, I aim for a constant state of Grace...and it's not of myself...it's a gift from God.

A State of Grace...

Watching SCANDAL. If you're not a tv watcher, watch Scandal on ABC.  It's smart, well written and downright good tv.  You'd have to start from the beginning to get it and piece it all together. My Facebook timeline, during the show, is filled with comments and one liners from others who are also watching.  It's based on the life of a real life woman, Judy Smith.  Kerry Washington plays Olivia Pope and she's a "fixer".  Her character is savvy, sophisticated, smart, stylish and stunning at any given time of day.  Scandal is the modern day Dynasty, Dallas and Falcon Crest all rolled into one.  It's high drama.  It's not wholesome though.   It's doesn't take you back to the days of family tv as in I Love Lucy or say Good Times, but it's good drama.  From the beginning of the series, Olivia Pope is having an affair with the President of the United States.  They share a bed or a desk :o) and seemingly a love that makes you want to see it and their union thrive.  They're so passionate until you forget it's immoral and scandalous. But it is good. Olivia Pope has a team of charming, neurotic and treacherous misfits who each have a defined roll.  They've each been saved by Pope from some crazed life happens type of situation.  They lie, cheat and steal to "fix" a clients situation, and they are loyal to Olivia.  It's created, written and produced by Shonda Rimes.  A talented African American woman who's created several solid and long lasting shows, including Grey's Anatomy.  Each week the show ends with a cliffhanger and we're left wishing it could have lasted a little longer.  We wait, trying not to fall off of the cliff, until our next date with our friends in what's sentimentally known as Shondaland.

A white mouse, a bag of gold fish, a toilet seat cover, a bow tie, a bag of office trash and a bag of bubbles and silly string...These were the gifts for the white elephant gift exchange at the Young Life Christmas party tonight.  I serve on the committee for Lake Murray Young Life, and it's a joy to see high school kids hear about Christ, some for the first time.  Tonight's party was for the committee and college leaders who volunteer their time to mentor the kids and share the Gospel.  FUN TIMES!


Younglife.org

In spite of and because of the things in this life, I aim for a constant state of Grace...and it's not of myself...it's a gift from God.

 

A State of Grace...

Advent...A season of expectant waiting and preparation.  WAITING WITH EXPECTATION(S) AND PREPARING IN THE MEANTIME...Sounds like Faith to me.  At first thought, it seems like a bit much to be waiting and preparing all at once, but I get it.  There's a longing for the coming of Christ at the Christmas season, but instinctively there's a preparation for the second coming of Christ.  During Advent, which started Sunday and ends on Christmas Eve, we sing songs of the season, teach lessons, light candles of a certain color and follow a theme. The season of advent is significant.  Though commercial, there are calendars where the doors open and reveal a poem or passage or gift or chocolate.  The idea is that each day leading up to Christmas is significant...special.  It kind of makes me want to have my own little Advent season everyday, all the time...A life of expectancy, anticipation and preparation.  Oh for it to be so when I say "I'm living the life"!
What are you waiting for with expectation?  What are you preparing for simultaneously?

Speaking of Preparing...I'm talking about climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro.  What I should say is that I got a Young Life flyer in the mail talking about the wonderful excursion/experience that is climbing the mountain with Tanzanians and other Young Lifers.  It can take up to 9 days and that includes a day or two of gathering, 3-4 days of climbing, a night's rest and 3-4 days descent.  I KNOW...I KNOW.  It's a lot, and my husband says I may want to spend some time in Denver or some other high altitude city before I go traipsing across Tanzania.  POINT WELL TAKEN.

Maybe I'll start with guitar lessons, which is also on my list, so when we get to the top of the mountain and have a worship service, I might be able to contribute on my acoustic guitar.  I'll figure out how to get it up there when the time comes.

In spite of and because of the things in this life, I aim for a constant state of Grace...and it's not of myself...it's a gift from God.

 

A State of Grace...

It's that time of the year....when I start to think about the holidays of my youth and how I always had more than I could want for.  What usually happens during that time is I start to think about my parents who afforded me so much.  They are both gone on to be with the Lord.  My mom died 12 years ago December 18th.  I don't usually think about that so early in the month, but I had a lengthy conversation today with a girlfriend who isn't in relationship with her mother.  There are many reasons, but that's not my story to tell.  What did strike me is how she said she responds when people say "but that's your mother".  Her response is that she's glad they have a good relationship with their mothers.  I did (have a good relationship with my mother)...  Even when I didn't realize how grateful I should be for a hot meal everyday; I did...When she encouraged (made) me go to Sunday School, Church and Baptist Training Union every Sunday;  I did...when I'd ask for something and she would say "go ask your daddy", not knowing fully how much of a good wife she was also being; I did....when I went off to college and when I'd neglect to call often enough; I did...when she was down with depression and transitioning from Prozac to Wellbutrin or the next best thing; I did....until she died seemingly premature from a stroke before the age of 70.  A relationship between a mother and daughter (child) can be one of the most difficult at times, but it can be one of the most loving, sincere and enduring relationships that any of us will ever know.  I agree with my girlfriend.  Be grateful... for life (that's all some mothers are capable of giving), and for as much or as little as your mother could/can give.  Most of us (including mothers) are only as good as what we saw or have allowed ourselves to learn. Extend grace and mercy and if not now...work toward being in that place. Work toward a good relationship if you don't have one and if you do...I keep coming back to... being grateful.  I am.  I think my daughter will reap the benefits of me being raised well by my mother.  Rest In Peace Marsell Bullock Williams.  #GRATEFUL


In spite of and because of the things in this life, I aim for a constant state of Grace...and it's not of myself...it's a gift from God.

A State of Grace...

I like it when I feel close to my husband.  While that may sound odd and especially awkward to say in print, it takes effort and intent to create a constant state of intimacy (IN TO ME YOU SEE).   When I first became a wife, I think I took it for granted because it was easier in the newness of our marriage and without kids in the house.  I'm not just speaking of sex, because I believe kids need to see their parents being intimate or at the very least affectionate...which leads to a deeper intimacy.  I understand what couples mean when they say, "my husband/wife is my best friend".  There is a relationship of implicit trust.  So when I'm talking about my family issues or about girlfriends who have hurt my feelings, I know he'll hear me, challenge me to be okay, and lastly roll his eyes and lament about girls and their feelings....all without judgement.  I do love my husband as a person and I love being married to him.   THANK GOD FOR THE SACRED UNION AND MAY IT THRIVE EVEN IN THE MOST DIFFICULT OF TIMES.

It was warm enough today, 77 in December, to go back outside and run.  I dusted off the old jogger stroller and Grace and I hit the road.  We got a late start because we were just enjoying getting a slow start to the day.  I say "Grace, are you ready to put on some clothes?"  She looks at me with pouty eyes and says "No, I don't want to go to the Y".  Well, that's our place on a regular basis, and she usually asks me if we're going. So, I heard and honored that.  I then say "do you want to go to the lake for our exercise".  She says, and I chuckle as I write this, "In a little bit".  Where did this old child come from?  I know what you're thinking....her old momma.  

Watched a DVR episode of Oprah's Next Chapter with Bette Midler and Valerie Simpson of Ashford and Simpson.  In the latter half of the show, Oprah interviewed Simpson in the New York brownstone that she's lived in for over 30 years.  It was nice but modest, and in New York, I'm sure it would sell for a lot more today than what they paid for it back then.  What really struck me is how content she seemed in her little patio garden where she talked about her recently deceased husband.  She talked about missing him and having the rug pulled from under her when he died.  Her daughters joined her and they seemed cohesive and as content as any three women could be after losing a man they all loved dearly in their own way for as long as they each had.  I was moved by Ashford and Simpson's work together when he was alive and by her passion for him even in his absence.  SEE PARAGRAPH 1:o)

In spite of and because of the things in this life, I aim for a constant state of Grace...and it's not of myself...it's a gift from God.

A State of Grace...

What is the dream?!  I've read and heard from several sources in the the past few weeks that you need to be true to the dream....name the dream....be consistent in your dream pursuits.  Now, the dream is not to be confused with a mere wish list item....For example....A Gucci handbag is on my wish list...the dream would be to have a Gucci handbag named after me because of my sense of style and fashion.   The wish list item is to be working again as a newscaster in a local television market.  The dream is to be an international household name as a marriage advocate and a Christian journalist who speaks God's truth to the masses in a way that's filled with love and grace.  GET IT?!  The dream needs to be that thing that you wish for beyond measure and work for consistently and pray for without ceasing because you believe it's your destiny.  THE DREAM = PURPOSE.

The Wesson's worshiped together as a family at church today.  We hadn't been to our church, St. Luke's Episcopal, in over a month because we've been traveling.  As my momma would say, God rest her soul, we've been running from pillar to post.  It's good to be back and settled and at home for a while.  The rigmarole takes its toll.  It's nice to be a part of a body of believers that lifts you up in prayer and encourages you and...misses you when you're not there.  THANKS BE TO GOD.

Don't know what to think about the Kansas City Chiefs player who killed his 22 year old girlfriend and then himself; or the fact that the team played today.  Life is, proverbially, for the living. 

I, and my little helper, wrapped some Christmas presents today.  Thank God for the GIFT OF JESUS.

In spite of and because of the things in this life, I aim for a constant state of Grace...and it's not of myself...it's a gift from God.

A State of Grace....

It's World AIDS Day...The number of cases continues to grow.  Many who live with the disease aren't able to afford the life sustaining medicines.  Some don't know they have it because they don't believe themselves to be at risk or just don't want to know their status (which is very different from, say....a Facebook status).  I light a candle and say a prayer for those infected and affected.

Four young African-American men who are/were student athletes at Hofstra University in New York, were arrested for stealing more than $20,000 in Apple products....from fellow students.  According to the report on CNN, they were afforded access into student dorm rooms and other areas because of their positions on the basketball team at the school.  While talking with Dale about this, I had so many questions about whether or not they could reason that if they held out for four years, their lives might change for the better.  I suggested that their immediate needs were being met as a result of their school situation.  Even so, Dale made the point that as athletes, they can't work so the things they 'wanted' for were probably missing.  Now, they face criminal charges, possible time in prison and may be marked for life as felons.  It's disheartening that they couldn't see or didn't care about the end game being more important than the short game.  Some lessons are, proverbially, learned the hard way.

Headed to Frankie Beverly and Maze tonight.  I HAVE NEVER SEEN THEM PERFORM, for as long as they have been performing.  We were gifted the VIP tickets, and a new and fast friend is Grace sitting.  Date night lives in a big way for this southern girl :o)

In spite of and because of the things in this life, I aim for a constant state of Grace...and it's not of myself...it's a gift from God.

ELECTION DAY AND BEYOND!

I spent election day 2012 in Tallahassee, FL working on a political talk show as a freelance producer.  It was interesting to see and hear discussion about all of the determined voters standing in line for HOURS AND HOURS; to hear some of the things voters had to overcome to vote.  It's a reminder that only a little effort, and sometimes a lot, goes a long way in bringing a consensus, giving people a sense of purpose and getting a desired result.  For the Obama supporters, that result is another  four years for a president that I, and many, believe is making and will continue to make a difference in this country for the people most like me.  It's also a reminder, as I saw trending photos of effigies depicting a hanged President Obama, that this country is still filled with much dislike,  disrespect and disregard for certain individuals.  That dislike, disrespect and disregard goes both ways, but it's so prominent going one way when the President of the Unites States of America is a Black man.  I may not live to see the truth of unity amongst the races, and yes we've come a long way.  Nevertheless, the reality is that we, for the sake of my 2 year old...my legacy....have still a ways to go.  Tire not oh soldiers on the battlefield.  Stand firm and march on 'til victory is won.  Here's to President Barack Hussein Obama, his extraordinary wife Michelle, their daughters, Sasha and Malia....and all of those who have yet to realize their worth and value in this world.

I, Too, Sing America
by Langston Hughes
I, too, sing America. I am the darker brother. They send me to eat in the kitchen When company comes, But I laugh, And eat well, And grow strong. Tomorrow, I'll be at the table When company comes. Nobody'll dare Say to me, "Eat in the kitchen," Then. Besides, They'll see how beautiful I am And be ashamed— I, too, am America.

Good can come from the storm.... you just have to ride the wave!

As weather men and women on the morning news shows talk about the storm that is Sandy, I can't help but notice the tape rolling in the background.  It's mostly surfers and body/boogie boarders waiting for the next big wave caused by the huge storm that's coming their way.  That's what they do during a storm.  They wait for the biggest and baddest wave so they can ride it out to perfection.  If you watch surfers (especially the newbies), you see them wipe out and nearly drown with arms flailing about. Some of the more experienced surfers, however,  will take a proper stance, wait for the wave to come --with total disregard for any harm it could cause---and take it on.  I call them nuts and wonder how in the world they think it's good sense to be out and about in the middle of a storm riding a wave.  This morning, it occurred to me that there might be something to it.  When a storm is brewing and getting really bad (read, when life is happening and things get hard), maybe I should do less retreating and feeling sorry for myself and questioning of God and do more stance taking, more patient waiting and more riding out of the wave.  We've heard many of the gospel songs of old that suggest trouble don't last always, or joy comes in the morning, or holding out until a change comes.   A favorite of mine is when the preacher tells the story about the girl and her dad driving in the storm and cars are pulling over and 18 wheelers are pulling over and it's raining harder and harder and the girl can't see and she asks her dad what they should do.  He says "just keep driving".  After several times of telling her that, they finally make it out of the storm.  He then tells her to pull over and look back at all the people who stopped or pulled over before the storm was over.  There is good (and God) in the storm.  It never seems so or feels like it at the time, but there are so many things happening at once and quite frankly, we can't begin to understand it all.  TRUST GOD.

Proverbs 3:5
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding...

Even when you think you have the answer and especially when you realize you don't...Take a stance, wait (or do the work) patiently, and ride the storm to perfection. 

EXPECT MORE THAN YOU COULD EVER THINK OR IMAGINE

Wasting away and being renewed all at once...WOW!

Therefore, we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. (2 Corinthians 4:16)

I'm looking at Grace at play in the backyard making dirt pies, and I just feel overwhelmed with emotions. It's probably not a big help that my DVR'ed episode of Parenthood is filled with opportunities to be emotional. One of the main characters recently found out she has breast cancer and her daughter comes home from college and it's a surprise visit because the daughter wanted to be with her family after hearing the news and the whole family is all together and she tells them and....well anyway....you see how one might start to think about life. So, I'm often glad that Grace plays so well by herself seeing as how she's not going to have any siblings close to her age. Then, there are times that I feel guilty about it; not that she plays well by herself, but that she's not going to have any siblings close to her age. I mean, I COULD have another baby (physically), and some days I think it would be a great idea. But, most days, I'm certain that I'm, what I like to call, "one and done". Oddly enough, the topic of another baby is not exactly what this entry was about. I started out thinking about the things that make me laugh and smile and cry and...feel. There have to be those (these) moments of introspection in order to move. Then I started to think about where I'd like to move to; metaphysically as opposed to a physical move. Will I go back to tv news? What do I really want to do as a writer/blogger/journalist/marriage advocate/Christ child? When and where will Grace go to preschool? Why is going to preschool such a big deal? I mean, I didn't go to school until I started kindergarten, and I believe I 'm okay:o) I'm on the journey. No, really, I'm on a multidimensional path to change. It's a six week transformation process that my sister's church is undergoing in Atlanta through the vision of her pastor. I'm living vicariously through her and doing a version of it as well. It's supposed to change my life. CHANGE MY LIFE. That's a tall order, AND my life is fine...Right? I'm sure this isn't over...the feeling and thinking on what is right and pure and lovely and admirable. In order to get to those things, I have to get through some of my junk first. Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief.

EXPECT MORE THAN YOU COULD EVER THINK OR IMAGINE

Be A Truth Teller....It's Hard, It Hurts...(now the good news)...It Heals

I hear the little foot steps coming up the stairs just as I'm on my way down to see why it was so quiet down there.  "I broke it", Grace says to me.  I asked her what she broke and to show it to me.  She takes my hand and leads me down the stairs to the office/workout space.  I look around and can find nothing that's obviously broken.  By this time, she's pulled me over to the desk chair and pulls the round knob in the back that is used to adjust the chair.  As soon as she touches it, it falls down; I suppose she'd actually tried to fix it before coming to me with the truth.  I pick it up, and she says, "can you fix it".  I tell her that we can, and I begin to screw the knob back into the hole in the center of the chair.  I think it took all of 2 minutes (if that) for me to fix it.  I tell her it's fixed, she touches it (I guess just to make sure) and says "thank you".  Now,she's come to me before to say she needs help with something or to say she'd broken something that really wasn't broken.  But for some reason it affected me differently this last time.  I started thinking about how I live my life and whether or not it would be better, easier ( in the long run), more fulfilling if I was that honest with God. 

*It's broken (a relationship, an opportunity, my promise, my will, my trust, my desire to follow you faithfully)
*Can you fix it? (I don't want to remain in this place, and I need your help)
*Thank you (an acknowledgement of the fixing that's taken place and gratefulness for that)

Psalm 25:5 Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all the day long.

Ephesians 4:25 Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.

The first scripture is a reminder that God is the standard bearer of truth, and when in doubt, it's His truth I seek.

The second one encourages me to walk in and speak truth with myself, my husband, family and friends. 

Lord I believe, help my unbelief.

EXPECT MORE THAN YOU COULD EVER THINK OR IMAGINE

Run YOUR Race Or You'll Fall Off the Treadmill...Almost Literally:o)

Out of breath and nearly out of gas on the treadmill Monday morning, I was running at a 5.3 pace; even getting as high as 5.7 at my "I'm almost done" push at the end of my 45 minutes.  Well, at about mile marker 3 this petite woman, who probably weighs only 120 pounds soaking wet, gets on the treadmill next to mine.  I'd already (stereotypically, I'm sad to say) surmised that she was a RUNNER.  She was lean, had solid calf and thigh muscles, and wore some little runner shorts and a dri-fit shirt...all dead giveaways.  At any rate, she gets on the machine, does some stretching and starts RUNNING.  I mean, the lady was running...FAST.  Per my routine, I take a break at the end of each mile so I can get a sip of water, catch my breath and not die on the treadmill :o) While on my mile 3 break, I look over at this chick and see her pace set at 7.0 (EYES OPEN WIDE....GASP).  Who does that?!  For a few seconds, I felt a bit outdone...put out even. I was there first and she saw my pace, so why would she do that to me (I know...stop being a victim, right).   I mean, I was feeling really good about my pace.  Monday is a good run day because I'm coming off of a good two days of rest.  Needless to say, this break lasted a little longer than normal.  I was rethinking my game plan.  Should I increase my speed and tire myself out (on a Monday) to the point that I might not be able to run anymore this week?  Should I go ahead and finish up so as not to be embarrassed for running so slowly next to this machine of a woman?  Should I....NO....I should run the race I started and finish it (MY RACE) strongly.  A friend of mine used to always say, "comparison is the thief of joy".  If never before, it made sense today.  I was easily sidetracked because someone was doing what I considered to be a better job than me.  The reality is that comparing myself to that woman was like comparing apples and oranges, as they say.  We were doing the same thing, but that wasn't criteria enough to suggest that we should be doing it at the same pace or on the same level.  A LESSON TO BE LEARNED FOR SURE.  Hers was not my race to run.  So, in that revelation, I ended the break and started to my finish.  Another mile and 11 minutes later, I was done and back to feeling good about my accomplishment.

 Keep moving, run your race (on or off the treadmill), don't compare yourself to others because you are good enough and finish strong!  

EXPECT MORE THAN YOU COULD EVER THINK OR IMAGINE! 

Hello Weight Loss Fairy...It's me again....

Since my annual doctor's appointment on Friday, I've become a little apprehensive about turning....
(WAIT... FOR... IT...) ... 40.  Yep.... I KNOW!  I jump on the scale and that number is too high.  I get my blood pressure checked and that number is too high....no doubt because of the first high number (GEESE!)  I've been thinking about a way to celebrate the milestone that will be my 4th decade of life, soooooo I'm starting now.  No, I'm not just thinking about the ultimate party or the extravagant trip (YES I AM :o).  I'm taking a friend's idea and starting my "Drop 40 by 40" initiative. Yes, it's just another fancy way to say it....I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT!   It's over the top and wild and crazy, and the execution, if done well, will be fabulous and undoubtedly noticeable and extreme and worthy of being called a celebration!  (SIGH...)  Maybe I should just plan the party and/or the trip and call it a milestone.   I'm sure the "initiative" will be more beneficial to me making it another 40 years so....who will join me?  I need support and I've done some research....the experts say that if we eat less and work out more, the weight will come off.  (SCOFF) Now, I asked my doctor about some alternatives to the old school method.  She said no to HCG and B-12 shots.  Not because they don't work, but because she didn't see the long term benefits.  (DEEP BREATH) If you're like me, you work out like you're training for the Olympics.  Now, to the eating!  Calorie counting, writing down what I consume and simply consuming less should do it!  GOT IT!  (EYES ROLL TO THE BACK OF MY HEAD)

*I know some of my many FB friends are soon hitting the same milestone or a milestone of another sort.  LET'S DO IT.  Join my "Drop 40 by 40" initiative and let the celebrating begin. If you don't need a whole 40 pound weight loss or simply want to tone and strengthen your body.....LET'S DO IT. 
Weigh yourself today.  Start exercising 4-5 times a week. (we can talk about that some more if you really are just starting with that).  Write down what you eat.  The experts say it really does make a difference. No, they aren't paying me, but Sparkpeople.com is free and it helps you track your calories and your workouts so this may be a good aid for you.  Journal, tell a friend or video chat and post it, but put your goals and intentions out there so there is some accountability.  Weigh yourselves weekly, stay prayed up and EXPECT MORE THAN YOU COULD EVER THINK OR IMAGINE!

**My 40th is in March

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=csXF9is3QYM&feature=colike

sparkpeople.com

"I'm Okay...."

A little disappointment in life is to be expected.  It's how you decide to respond to it that may sometimes surprise you.  When faced with adversity (pain, fear, hurt), we often have the chance to surprise ourselves and others by deciding to be okay.  When Grace (my 2 year old) falls, she gets up and shouts "I'm okay."  I taught her to say AND BELIEVE that when she was smaller because I didn't want her to lament over a small boo boo or hurt that really wasn't that bad.  So, she now speaks it over herself :o)  Granted, some "boo boo's" need to be tended to and looked at and taken care of and given a chance to heal.  Others only require a simple brush off and exclamation of  "I'm okay".  I was expecting something for me and my family and it didn't happen.  Yesterday, I received the "no".  I was disappointed and acknowledged that.  In trusting God with my life and his plan for my family, today I shout "I'm okay".  My prayer is that you would be okay today.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."  Romans 8:28

Dear God....Someone is facing a disappoint today and needs to be reminded that you are still in control.  I pray that you would lift the burden of whatever is weighing us down.  Help us to seek you and remain faithful as we deal with the let down.  Where there is room for growth, help us to achieve that.  Heal the brokenhearted and comfort those who are filled with hurt, pain, fear, anger and any other emotion that fills our lives.  Lord, continue to show yourself to be real to us that our faith in you might increase.  Help us to be not just okay... but conquerors!   In the name of Jesus.  Amen.

EXPECT MORE THAN YOU COULD EVER THINK OR IMAGINE!

Smiling while leaving the grocery store and other oddities of a nearly 40 year old wife and mother!

I find myself more and more prone to find the good in most situations. The power of positive thinking....feed the universe some of the energy you want in return.  With that being said, I must admit that I am recently on the tail end of a bout with anxiety and emotional upheaval.  I was feeling overwhelmed and not taking the time out to care for myself as I was for others.  It's nothing new for women the world over, but I rarely end up in that place.  I was physically and emotionally overextended and just needed a break.  I'd made several beach dates but hadn't kept them because it was going to cost money to get there and money to eat and money to....I'd cancelled a spa day here or there and had spent much of my afternoon writing time plagued with an unsettling feeling.  I don't do anxiety.  Be anxious for nothing and in all things with prayer and supplication make your request known unto God....I don't do anxiety.  Yet, I was tired, frustrated, discontent and overwhelmed.  I had a series of "come to Jesus" meetings (with myself, with my husband and with Jesus :o)  I really am more than a conqueror.  I know, I know...it's trite, but after what I'd been experiencing....BUT GOD.  So, fast forward a week or two and I'm finding myself being myself.  I was leaving the grocery store yesterday with a smile on my face as I walked to the car.  After becoming aware of it, I thought "I'm grateful for being able to buy the groceries we need and for my role in that process".  Today, after dinner, we all got up from the table and I noticed a family of deer across from the house playing.  There were three adults and a couple of fawns that were frolicking in and out of the woods.  I'm not sure how long they'd been at it, but we watched with anticipation for about five to seven minutes (that's a long time to watch deer at play:o).  I know, it sounds silly, but as I get older, it's the little things and getting back to the basics that bring joy to my life.  I'm contented to be with my family and enjoy the time without feeling like we need to be doing something.  Doing things is great, but I find myself only doing the things that seem worthy of my time.  I tried to watch Love and Hip Hop Atlanta, but....not worth it.  I've gone to mother's groups that don't mesh with my personality...not worth it.  I've expended energy over being unfriended on Facebook and I've agonized over not accepting friend requests from folk who I know aren't a good investment...not worth it.  I'm back to planning a beach day and this time I'll keep that appointment.  I need to honor what works for me.  I need to listen to that inner voice and respond with gratefulness.   One of my Facebook friends status updates read "don't belittle yourself...be bigger yourself".  I like it and I'm living it!
Lord I believe. Help my unbelief.

EXPECT MORE THAN YOU COULD EVER THINK OR IMAGINE

Does not eating Chick-Fil-A today mean I'll be eating crow tomorrow?

I didn't go to Chick-Fil-A today in support of the CFA Appreciation Day, but to be fair, I can't remember the last time I ate at Chick-Fil-A.  In theory, I agree with the fast food chain's President and COO, Mr. Dan Cathy.  I believe marriage is between a man and a woman.  I do, however, think that's where our commonalities end.  I don't know that his proclamation against gay marriage was a surprise.  As we all know, they are closed on Sunday because the people who run the company believe in Sunday as a day to be with family.  This isn't the first time CFA has talked about supporting family and values.  The people who run that company believe in traditional family values.  That's not news.  It's also not news that Cathy is using his power and position to assert his popular opinion on a popular topic during an election year.  And, who are these people lining up at Chick-Fil-A's all over the country because Mike Huckabee said so.  Yes, it was former Governor of Arkansas Mike Huckabee who came up with the idea to make this CFA appreciation day.  I wasn't a fan when he was running for president in 2008.  I'm not a fan of the show he hosts on FOX NEWS, which I don't watch or support.  He's a conservative pastor who went to a baptist theological seminary in Texas. While I'm not a conspiracy theorist, it doesn't take one to see this as an attempt to get folks riled up in an election year.   Yes, I'm a Christian and once again, I feel the need to say that, in theory, I agree with Mr. Cathy.  But, I don't go around saying hurtful things just because I can. I don't necessarily believe there was any hatred on his part, but I also didn't feel the love.  I love on folks, and I share God (Christ) through my actions.  Christ spread love.  He changed people's hearts and minds by showing them love...and a miracle or two or three didn't hurt either.  We are called to love God and one another.  I love the sinner and hate the sin, but let he who is without sin cast the first stone.  There's a kiss-in on Friday at Chick-Fil-A's nationwide sponsored by the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation, also known as GLAAD.  Suffice it to say, there will be supporters and protesters of that as well.  Although I personally don't think the chicken sandwiches are as good as they used to be,  I do plan to taste the new peach milk shake from Chick-Fil-A, and I do remember liking the raisin salad.  I support Godly principles and Godly living.  If eating at Chick-Fil-A today was a way to do that, then I'll be eating crow tomorrow, but I doubt it.

EXPECT MORE THAN YOU COULD EVER THINK OR IMAGINE!

Go to your room....

Yes, I have already started telling my 2 and a half year old that very thing.  For me, it's one of the alternatives to popping her hand or pulling out my hair.  Yes, I pop and will continue to pop Grace Evan Williams Wesson (that's not what this is about so stay focused:o).  I thought we'd gotten beyond the "terrible twos" because I read somewhere that it's actually the few months leading up to the 2nd year and a few months into it that are the worst.  Well....they (the authors of said article) were wrong.  Miss Grace is taking every opportunity to remind me that she is a small person, but a person all the same, with her own likes, dislikes, wants, needs and appreciations.  She's exerting her will and I have to remind myself that she has that right (within reason), and that I simply need to help her channel those feelings and emotions in ways that are not self destructive, rude, disrespectful or harmful to others.  I'm working on it.  I also have to remind myself (with a chuckle) that I too was like that with my parents and am still like that with my heavenly Father.  I want what I want and when HE says no, I sometimes act out.  I'm sometimes told to go to my room, or place of calm and reflection and restoration.  I'm also popped on the hand sometimes ( and it doesn't feel good which is why I don't do it often).  I know....I know....she's just two and a half and it's expected that there will be meltdowns and tantrums.  My prayer is not to have a tantrum or meltdown of my own in the process.

EXPECT MORE THAN YOU COULD EVER THINK OR IMAGINE!

Pomp & Circumstance and Family too!

We celebrate you because of your accomplishments and because of how hard you've worked.  We celebrate you because your success is our success.  We celebrate you because we're proud and full and inspired!  We celebrate you because we are family.  We celebrate you because you are loved!  Congratulations Larry and Tracey Williams!
 https://picasaweb.google.com/108185719029935048126/PompCircumstanceAndFamily 

Does anyone believe in marriage anymore?! # I DO

I get it....Marriage is apparently not popular.  More and more of us are finding ourselves either in or surrounded by failed marriages.  So much so that when people find love, marriage is an after thought, if at all.  This latest tirade is as a result of the latest Essence magazine cover which, as I see it, celebrates Nia Long for having a baby and being decidedly single.  She's not working on any projects that the article mentioned, she said she's more emotionally mature than she's ever been and she's happy with her baby's pro basketball daddy, yet she has no intentions of getting married.  She talks about not seeing marriage work and not feeling the need to go there.  Well, I love Nia as an actor and progressive woman doing her thing, but I believe we were created to go there. 

Hebrews 13:4  "Let marriage be held in honor among all and let the marriage bed be undefiled..."

I get it.  It's a different time.  Whether we're talking biblical days or as recent as when our parents were married, marriage just doesn't hold the same appeal as it once did.  Women are in less need of being  "rescued".  Women and men are more financially independent and less dependent on God and one another.  Both sexes are more about immediate gratification and less about being in it for the long haul even if it's hard at times.  Couples are finding little value in marriage when the same needs can be met by simply being in a relationship or with a loving partner.  
And, that's fine if that's what you believe (not really).  The problem I have is when that's celebrated.  I get that I'm old fashioned or more traditional in thought, but I get upset when I hear "marriage is a business venture" or see prominent magazine covers with a woman, two sons and no fathers or husband present.  Yes, in reading that particular article, Nia's ex fiance, the father of her first son, is a part of the picture.  It also reads that she is in a relationship with her second son's father.  So, the men are present and perhaps even accounted for, so why can't the family unit be celebrated as much as the brokenness of the unit seems to be celebrated (Jill Scott, Erykah Badu).  No, not being in a married two parent household does not negate love and care and raising of children.  And yes, sometimes children and adults alike suffer in the traditional married homes.  I'm an advocate for marriage, not naive. In all fairness, I get that Essence is not a Christian magazine.  But it does have a wide and broad appeal, yet I find myself feeling less represented than ever.  In talking to a friend, she said she thought the cover was intended to celebrate and inspire single mothers everywhere, not piss on marriage, so she was okay with it.  Perhaps.  I just wish the discussion didn't need such clarity.  I also wish that more people, married and single would see more honor in being married and being in that joyous struggle versus being so anti establishment which often translates into being against the values of old.  Marriage can work if you work at it and trust in God.  I DO!

EXPECT MORE THAN YOU COULD EVER THINK OR IMAGINE

THE CLOUDS AND RAIN WILL COME...
A rainy weekend at the beach doesn't mean you can't have a good time or thrive. That's my most recent experience since I was just at the beach, but take the "beach factor "out and put in your most recent cloudy day experience.  Rain clouds don't get rid of the sun....they mask it.  It's still there shining brightly!  It's within our power to make the best of a less than ideal situation by deciding that we want it to be positive.
WE, ALONG WITH OUR BELIEF IN GOD, CAN AFFECT CHANGE IN OURSELVES AND OTHERS...
 We possess that power within!  Bosses annoy us and take advantage of their authority, babies cry uncontrollably, spouses hurt our feelings and misunderstand us....some even cheat and deceive, people take advantage of us.  All manner of less than ideal situations arise in life and we can't control them.  What we can control is the way we react.  We decide how the clouds are going to affect us and our sunny expectations.  Yes, it does sound kind of like I took an Eckhart Tolle class or am trying to tap my inner power source, but your level of spirituality does make a difference in how you see some of the tough, uphill battles you face. It's also biblical.
      Philipians 4:11b-12 "For I have learned to be content whatever the circumstance.  I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little."
MY INNER LIGHT WILL SHINE REGARDLESS BECAUSE OF MY FAITH AND TRUST IN GOD...
We go through things and sometimes our friends and family just can't imagine how we do it.  Well, Mary Mary coined it....It's the God in me.  It's not just my human, fallible, overwhelmed, unmotivated, uninspired, insecure, uncertain flesh.  If it were, then clouds would have me depressed, downtrodden, shaken, bowed down and maybe even dead.  I choose to love God, trust and believe in God and live God. 

What will you do in your rainy season?

EXPECT MORE THAN YOU COULD EVER THINK OR IMAGINE!

MOTIVATING....(UNAWARE)!

As part of the daily grind,  I was at the YMCA this morning.  I was getting ready to go into my intervals class when Heather, a regular in the class and at the Y, pulls me to the side and says she wants to share something with me.  She starts by saying that she was on the treadmill behind me yesterday morning while I was running.  She said she heard Amy, our instructor for today's class, come up to me and say, "how far are you going?".  Heather then says when she heard me say 4 miles, she looked down at the panel on her treadmill, saw 2 miles and shook her head.  In that moment, she says she decided she had to at least do 3 miles.  I started telling her how I was "in training" for the Peachtree Road Race in Atlanta on July 4th.  I tell her it's a 10K and that my training schedule has me getting up to 4.5 miles this week.  I then smile and say to her,  "I'm glad I could motivate you to do more!"  As we near the end of our chat, someone else walks up to me and she heads into the bathroom before class.  It was such a fast exchange.  It was so fast, in fact, that the details could have gone unnoticed if I wasn't always looking for God and good in situations.  For the sake of background, Heather is certainly smaller than me (not necessarily more fit), is active at the Y and does some running.  Now, I learned many races ago that endurance varies from person to person.  YOU can be a lesson or a blessing to almost anyone, so don't sell yourself short.  I also learned that while I'm trying to keep up with someone in front of me, someone behind me is trying to keep up with me.  Set your standard and help raise the standard of someone else. And, one of the biggest lessons I've learned over the years as a would be runner is....I have to run my race.  If I do that, then it's easier to be at my best and possibly inspire or motivate someone else to do the same. 

^{Mark 4: 35-36} That day when evening came, he said to his disciples, “Let us go over to the other side.”        Leaving the crowd behind, they took him along, just as he was, in the boat. There were also other boats with him.  
 
This passage is after Jesus has been teaching and telling parables to such a large crowd that he had to be in a boat while everyone sat along the shore.  Then, when he was done working hard at teaching, he decided to go with his disciples, his inner circle, and get some down time.  Well, he wasn't able to do that without other boats following.  Jesus had such a draw and attitude and message to the point that people wanted to be around him.  So it is with many of us. I think the difference is that Jesus knew his purpose and was intentional.  We should all live with purpose and intention.  We are being followed...in our homes by our kids and even spouses, on our jobs, in our organizations and even at the Y. Be worth following!


EXPECT MORE THAN YOU COULD EVER THINK OR IMAGINE!

Happy Mother's Day!

Had an AWESOME weekend with Dale and Grace at the beach in Florida.  We've been to Amelia Island for all of my Mother's Days so far.  I really enjoy the beach for so many reasons and Grace seems to be a water baby herself.  To all the mothers, whether you birthed a child or mother a child in your life, thanks for all you do and Happy Mother's Day to you!

Is the President gay?...(Let the fallout begin)

STOP RIGHT THERE.....I do not..I repeat...DO NOT remotely BELIEVE that the president of the United States, Barack Obama, is gay.  I also know it could be considered by some as borderline disrespectful to even suggest such a thing even in jest.  But, I'm sure the fall out to him supporting gay marriage is going to be AT LEAST that bad.  I support the president of the United States.  I can't say that I unequivocally support gay marriage.  I do believe civil unions should be honored and that families of homosexuals should be supported by insurance and other benefits if a partner or child becomes ill.  I do like (love actually) that in his interview with Robin Roberts, President Obama said that he and his family are Christians (practicing) and that they believe in the golden rule....do unto others as you would have them do unto you.  So, where is the line drawn between loving and caring for our neighbors and judging them?  I don't have that answer, but it is a slippery slope.  I live in South Carolina and yesterday, my neighboring state of North Carolina voted to pass a same-sex marriage ban.  That means they voted against same-sex marriage.  They defined marriage as a union between a man and a woman.  It's the south AND it's the conservative south.  I'm sure the fact that the state of South Carolina still flies the confederate flag may have nothing to do with the discussion on gay marriage.  But, it does.  One reflects a spirit of disrespect and lack of consideration for a group of people.  The other reflects a spirit of disrespect and lack of consideration for a group of people.  I do like that the president did what many of us won't do, and that's say what we mean and mean what we say. He stated his position.  I am not just liberal, but I'm what some would consider a bleeding heart liberal (just lost a few friends I'm sure :o).  I believe we need to help people who are poor and illiterate and voiceless and not socially conscious...even those who may do it to themselves....even those who have a chance to help themselves and just don't.  I believe there are reasons that need to be addressed and generational curses and sometimes the inability to get out of the rut.  That being said, I don't believe I have the right to judge couples, hetero or homo sexual.  Having said that, I also believe that some hetero couples should not be married.  So, the president of the United States of America has taken a stand, and I applaud his effort. I'm a registered voter, and I exercise that right.  So, in that sense, I get a say.  But the bigger picture is that at the end of the day, I have to be the best person I can be in all of my relationships, and that may mean comforting a friend who's gay and can't marry or one day celebrating with that same friend because they can. 

I AM...

John 15:1 (NRSV) "I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinegrower.

Jesus was and is clear about who HE IS.  I have been practicing my "I AM" statements. They become our confession, and I want my confession of who I am to be positive and affirming.  I AM A WOMAN OF GOD.  I AM A SUPPORTIVE AND LOVING WIFE.  I AM A NURTURING AND AWESOME MOTHER :O)  I AM A POWERFUL JOURNALIST.  These are just a few of my personal  "I AM" statements.  I also want them to be true, which is where I have to be careful.  I recently caught Oprah's Life Class on tv.  It was the one where all of her favorite life coach guru's and spiritual advisers were on state together.  They each taught and led from their experiences and their individual sources of power.  I do believe in the power within.  I believe that what we say to ourselves about ourselves and our surroundings can actualize in our behavior.  I believe that we have the power of life and death in our tongues which is why I choose to speak life.  I do not...repeat...DO NOT....believe that I am my own life source or that the source stops with the universe.  I believe in a risen savior.  I believe in Jesus Christ. John 15: 5 I am the vine, you are the branches. Those who abide in me and I in them bear much fruit, because apart from me you can do nothing.   AH HA!...My "I AM" statements come from there.  I can be all of these branches and extensions of myself because of the vine....because of Jesus.  I can and do make these confessions  because of my main confession.  I confess Christ...Romans 10:9 That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved... Saved from believing negative speak; saved from believing that I'm not worthy; saved from being torn down by backbiting; saved from my own insecurities eating away at me; saved from an eternal death.  For that, I AM GRATEFUL.   First, confess Christ.  Then, make your positive confessions about who you are in HIM.

EXPECT MORE THAN YOU COULD EVER THINK OR IMAGINE

I didn't know her personally, but I call her name...

I didn't know her personally but she was only 41, a mother, a daughter, a dear friend to one of my best friends and, from what everyone has been saying, a joy to know and be around.  She died Monday afternoon in a robbery while working at the small grocery store she owned.  Apparently, she'd recently moved back home to Pensacola from Atlanta.  By all accounts, she wanted to take care of her terminally ill mother and start this new business venture in an effort to give back to her community.  To that end....she lost her life.  I keep thinking of all the people in my life who hopefully, but may not, know how special they are to me.  Then I say, well, the really special people know it and my closest friends surely know I'd miss them if they weren't there for me to talk to or bounce things off of or cry with and laugh with and....THEY KNOW, RIGHT?  Then, I keep thinking of how uncertain our next breath really is.  I get teary eyed when I think of not seeing my daughter grow up and go to school and prom and college and graduate and work and get married and have kids and all of the things in between those things.  I'll be here for all of that, right?  I don't believe this young woman's death is the way life was designed to be.  I don't believe that God designed it to be that a terminally ill woman and a 25 year old young man would be burying their daughter and mother this weekend.  I do believe that the world is so turned upside down and caught up in its ills (SIN)--- to the point that at 5 o'clock on a Monday afternoon, a would be robber walked into a grocery store with a gun, shot a woman who also shot back and killed him.  It wasn't designed to be that way.  Life happens, I know...but we have to figure out how to take action in our homes, communities and the world around us so that it doesn't happen like this.  I believe the sadness I feel is because she, though not literally, was me.  She ( a young woman trying to take care of herself and the people she loved)  wanted to do the good and right thing and in the end, lost her life.  Yes, I believe God knows all and has the final say.  I also know that it's okay for me to feel some kind of way when things like this happen.  I didn't know her personally, but I call her name because, but for the grace of God, go I.... Rest in Peace...TERRA FOUNTAIN-QUARLES...Rest in Peace.

There Really Is No Place Like Home...

Take Exit 13B and you're almost there! (a standard line in the directions to my home growing up)....From the huge and beautiful trees that seem to be everywhere in the neighborhood to the relatively small house that felt like a mansion when I was growing up, the trip home is filled with comfort.  The neighborhood looks different but the same....the yards aren't as plush as when I was growing up and everyone was competing for the coveted "Yard of the Week" sign, but most of the homes look good (especially considering the wrath of Hurricane Ivan and its 2004 season counterparts).   Coming home is always filled with poignant moments commanded by the absence of my parents as well as the other neighborhood parents who helped raise me (as in "Nita Williams, I'm going to make sure your parents know about this" :o).  Those moments are tempered by the excitement I feel from seeing Grace walk in the backyard where I played and jump in my childhood bed (yes, it's still standing).  Last night was just the sisters laughing and talking and having a good time.  The brothers are here now and will undoubtedly add to the celebration.  There's the beach and visits with old friends and service at the home church and the Sunday Bar B Q and more visits and....as much as I can pack into a few days.  It's good to be here....and for better or for worse, there really is no place like home! 

EXPECT MORE THAN YOU COULD EVER THINK OR IMAGINE!

Resurrection Sunday....

Happy Easter!  Thank God for Jesus.  I believe He would have died just for me, but I'm so glad he died and rose again for us all.  It's been a blessed day with family and church friends.  I'm grateful to God! Glory to God in the Highest!

Good Friday...

The alter is bare and He has done the ultimate for us....for me.  I'm tired as I sit and think and decompress.  My family is visiting from Texas and Georgia, and I'm just taking a moment...to say "thank you" and to trust that He would have done it even if I were the only one on earth. Say that again....and believe it...  It's a special weekend as we lead up to Easter.  But today, in this moment, I'm reflecting on Good Friday;  One of the hardest days (for me) on the Christian calendar.  A lot like life, the reality of the crucifixion (the hurt, the pain, the agony, the loss) must be felt....fortunately, we know Easter is coming.  But, in this moment....He is still in the grave....and He did it just for me (INSERT YOUR NAME)...What are the things I need to bury (past hurts, regrets, passing judgment, the will to gossip  ....) What are the things I look forward to resurrecting (more on that later)?  I want to bury (release) the things that need to be buried (released)...and today is as Good a Friday as any! 

EXPECT MORE THAN YOU COULD EVER THINK OR IMAGINE

Finish STRONG

Today is Palm Sunday and Christians all over the world commemorated Jesus' entry into Jerusalem (leading up to His death)....by passing out Palm fronds and Processing.  At church today, we sang "Were you there when they crucified my Lord", and we left it with....laid Him in a tomb...  In briefly chatting with my Pastor, he said Palm Sunday has mixed messages.  He made that statement in response to me saying that I felt a burden during today's Mass.  As we read the passion, I was reminded of what Jesus did for me.... (pause and reflect).  I was also reminded of the "me" He did (died) it for...(pause and reflect).  I've noticed myself wishing that this week would hurry and go by so I can get to Easter and celebrate and feast and....so on and so forth.  I have waned in my sacrificial living; I've slacked on reading my lessons for lent and the lectionary.  I've....(fill in the blank).  I am not worthy!  The beauty of Jesus is that I don't have to be... I just have to be willing...and I am. I encourage you to finish STRONG...


S-stay the course 
T- trust God to meet your needs (whatever they may be)
R- remember Who you are and Whose you are (even when you think nobody's watching)
O- obey God  (there is no other option)
N-never doubt that Jesus loves you and died for YOU (He calls you HIS OWN)
G- give your all to your relationship with God (He truly loves you....)


Hebrews 12: 1-3  Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, ² fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. ³ Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

 EXPECT MORE THAN YOU COULD EVER THINK OR IMAGINE!

Blessed beyond measure...

I suppose if I really wanted to, I could measure my blessedness.  I mean, there are means by which to measure most things in life... height, arm span, how much rice you're going to cook, a child's progress in life, one's level of success....surely I could measure just how blessed I am.  But, seeing as how it's so far beyond the scope of what I could expect or imagine, I just take it in and say thank you, Lord.  Thank you for parents who taught me to love you and raised me well before leaving this earth; thank you for a husband who loves me like you loved the church, supports and lifts me up, and deals with "my brand of crazy"in the most loving way;  thank you for an older daughter who is respectful, thoughtful and trusting of me even though I didn't birth her; thank you for a younger daughter who lights up a room and my heart with her smile; thank you for siblings who sustain me, remind me to laugh, and encourage me to live "my life" even when they disagree with my choices; thank you for friends who love on and care for me from far and near; thank your for the chance to be in a career field that uses and showcases my gifts and talents while bringing me immense pleasure; thank you for a place to worship where I and my family are indeed a part of the body and are welcomed by fellow believers; thank you for the balance I know I need, whether it's present at the time or not; I mean....I could go on and on and on; I remember having hurting knees when I first had Grace and now I can get on the floor with her with a reasonable amount of ease; I have me health and strength and my right mind and a roof over my head and on and on and on....A friend of mine wished me a happy birthday and told me to do something special.  He went on to say that it might be hard to do when I live such a fabulous life everyday.  Well, he may have said it in jest, but there's some truth to it.  I am grateful to live a life filled with joy and smiles.  Sure, there's some anxiousness and doubt some days but even in that, I'm blessed to know that trouble don't last always.  It's my birthday, and it is a happy one.  I'm blessed to see another day.  Beyond measure, I'm blessed....I'm blessed....I am blessed!

EXPECT MORE THAN YOU COULD EVER THINK OR IMAGINE!

Choice...

There's a continuing debate about the right to choose and being pro-choice.  The magnitude of this particular choice has gotten people killed, caused others to justify murder and even caused the highest court in the United States of America to rule and consider and talk about and write about and even reconsider previous decisions.  Choice matters.  But, that particular choice is not what's at the forefront of my mind.
"Do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life..." John 6:27
How have your choices been lately?  Have they been deliberate?  Have they been filled with prayer and contemplation and thought, or even reason and practicality;  or have they been emotional, hasty and whimsical?  Do your choices provide for just today...what you'll eat today versus sustaining your temple over a lifetime...what you'll say today in the moment versus words that speak life, evoke confidence and build character.  I know, the bible speaks of taking no thought for tomorrow because today is filled with its own set of challenges.  In that, however, is the biggest choice... of loving, serving and living for God.  Once we've made the choice for food that endures--our relationship with God and his son, Jesus Christ---then the rest of it (our relationships with our spouses, our kids, our bosses, etc.) falls in line, and the other choices become subsequent.  For me, the desire for "food that spoils", be it my own hedonism or laziness or doing what I want, can sometimes be so overwhelming.  I suppose I thought that halfway into Lent, I'd be righteous and virtuous and holy.  HA!  Even now, I get so sucked into my own desires that I momentarily forget about my commitment to the  "food that endures".  I want endurance.  I want eternal life.  In this moment and in my heart, I choose God.  Lord I believe.  Help my unbelief.


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