#Myfavoritegirl

#Myfavoritegirl
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Big Papa
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#Family

#Family
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Family

Family
FAMU I LOVE THEE

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NYC trip with the girls!
Sisters and Friends

Friday, June 29, 2012

Does anyone believe in marriage anymore?! # I DO

I get it....Marriage is apparently not popular.  More and more of us are finding ourselves either in or surrounded by failed marriages.  So much so that when people find love, marriage is an after thought, if at all.  This latest tirade is as a result of the latest Essence magazine cover which, as I see it, celebrates Nia Long for having a baby and being decidedly single.  She's not working on any projects that the article mentioned, she said she's more emotionally mature than she's ever been and she's happy with her baby's pro basketball daddy, yet she has no intentions of getting married.  She talks about not seeing marriage work and not feeling the need to go there.  Well, I love Nia as an actor and progressive woman doing her thing, but I believe we were created to go there. 

Hebrews 13:4  "Let marriage be held in honor among all and let the marriage bed be undefiled..."

I get it.  It's a different time.  Whether we're talking biblical days or as recent as when our parents were married, marriage just doesn't hold the same appeal as it once did.  Women are in less need of being  "rescued".  Women and men are more financially independent and less dependent on God and one another.  Both sexes are more about immediate gratification and less about being in it for the long haul even if it's hard at times.  Couples are finding little value in marriage when the same needs can be met by simply being in a relationship or with a loving partner.  
And, that's fine if that's what you believe (not really).  The problem I have is when that's celebrated.  I get that I'm old fashioned or more traditional in thought, but I get upset when I hear "marriage is a business venture" or see prominent magazine covers with a woman, two sons and no fathers or husband present.  Yes, in reading that particular article, Nia's ex fiance, the father of her first son, is a part of the picture.  It also reads that she is in a relationship with her second son's father.  So, the men are present and perhaps even accounted for, so why can't the family unit be celebrated as much as the brokenness of the unit seems to be celebrated (Jill Scott, Erykah Badu).  No, not being in a married two parent household does not negate love and care and raising of children.  And yes, sometimes children and adults alike suffer in the traditional married homes.  I'm an advocate for marriage, not naive. In all fairness, I get that Essence is not a Christian magazine.  But it does have a wide and broad appeal, yet I find myself feeling less represented than ever.  In talking to a friend, she said she thought the cover was intended to celebrate and inspire single mothers everywhere, not piss on marriage, so she was okay with it.  Perhaps.  I just wish the discussion didn't need such clarity.  I also wish that more people, married and single would see more honor in being married and being in that joyous struggle versus being so anti establishment which often translates into being against the values of old.  Marriage can work if you work at it and trust in God.  I DO!

EXPECT MORE THAN YOU COULD EVER THINK OR IMAGINE

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