BE IT RESOLVED....

I'm getting ready for the New Year!  It's something many of us do in one way or another as we prepare---physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally---to start anew.  Growing up in the baptist church as one of the recording secretaries, I remember reading resolutions at funerals. They were a way to acknowledge the deceased's accomplishments in a more formal way than a eulogy might.  With that in mind, I  offer a resolution of respect to 2011:

Be it resolved that this day, December 31, is the last one of the year 2011.  It was a year filled with purpose, promise and passion.  My husband and I celebrated our 3rd year of marriage (that's my Big Papa), my baby turned 1 (turns 2 in January) and my oldest daughter started graduate school (CalArts ROCKS). Those three things alone would have made for quite a year....but why stop there!  We found a church home as well as a pediatrician and a family doctor, and we joined the YMCA. I know....YAY for us, right.   The facts and figures aside, I settled into the reality of being a housewife of South Carolina, and that was indeed an accomplishment for me.  The year 2011 allowed me to bury the urgency to work outside the home.  It also  helped me conceive the belief that I could still use my gifts and talents to grow and earn a living while being a full time wife and mother (still working on the earning part:o).  2011 has had its share of laughter and tears....triumphs and disappointments...So much so that I spent a lot of 2011's time thinking, talking and writing about moving forward and fostering positive change. Be it resolved that 2011 has seen its share of travels...especially to the beach:o)....Pensacola Beach, Myrtle Beach, Hilton Head Island, Amelia Island, Playa Del Carmen and Tulum (just to name a few).  Be it resolved that 2011 saw some relationships thrive and others barely survive.  2011, you've seen news stories that won't make headlines again but will be embedded in our minds for years to come...wars have ended, dictators have been killed and politicians have been steeped in scandal.  As is the cycle of life, there were birthdays and deaths (every year has its number... so say the old folk).   Be it resolved 2011...that you were an AWESOME year. Be it resolved that you are greatly appreciated for what you provided.  And, as I prepare for your successor, know that you will be missed but never forgotten.  Be it resolved...and so it is.

7 Foods You Should Never Eat

7 Foods You Should Never Eat

...Watch for the unexpected sparks in your life...they are sure to fly!

EXTRA EXTRA READ ALL ABOUT IT....Herman Cain and alleged sexual harassment several times over; Herman Cain and an alleged 13 year mistress which he says is just a friend to whom he gave money; FAMU drum major Robert Champion dies after what police are saying was a hazing incident; Band director, Dr. Julian White consequently fired after said incident and death; Unemployment rate up and down and up again; Country singer says she won't return her 5 year old to his grandmother in Florida (who is the legal guardian) ; a 24 year old father in Texas kills his four children and himself and injures his wife; Bishop Eddie Long's wife files for divorce; Bishop Eddie Long's wife withdraws divorce petition.; Kourtney Kardashian proudly says she's not getting married after being pregnant with a second child from her boyfriend of 5 years...I'M ON OVERLOAD!  This is exactly why we're called to guard against the things of this world and to arm ourselves with goodness and righteousness and truth.  The irony is that I, like many of you, stay plugged in.  I'm constantly watching the news on tv and online.  I get alerts and updates to my computer, phone and Ipad, and I'm surfing the blogs and entertainment sights looking for the very news and information that, today, is overwhelming me.  I know I have to take it in stride and in moderation and with a grain of salt.  I tend to compartmentalize very well and not internalize much, if any, of it.  But today, I just got to thinking about the headlines and the implications.  I got to thinking about the way many of us are choosing to live our lives. I finally understood those people who say they don't watch the news because it's always something bad and how that depresses them.  There really is all manner of wickedness in the world, and we really do have to step away or unplug or decompress so as not to get "caught up" in all of it.  I know...this coming from me...a professed news junkie, a career journalist.  I pride myself on knowing what's going on and being able to tell others.  Well, even I need a respite.  Earlier today, I was outside for a short walk and just felt lighter while breathing in the fresh air and not having any wires growing from anywhere on my body.  Granted, I did check "the Facebook", but that was only to entertain myself while waiting for my take out lunch order.  While I know the technology and news and information at our fingertips is a part of who we are in today's society, I would encourage you to take a breather somewhere inside the next 24 hours.  Only you know what real time away looks like for you but consider some of the things we continually put in our minds, hearts and spirits and then consider some of the alternatives.  For me, that looks like spending more time with my husband and daughter, or working on one of my many craft projects or writing a note to a friend to say "I was thinking of you" or "I miss you"; notice I said a note and not an email :o)
Hopefully, you too will get back to the things that add a charge to your life versus just using the things in your life that need to be charged.  Unplug and watch for the unexpected sparks in your life! They are sure to fly.

EXPECT MORE THAN YOU COULD  EVER THINK OR IMAGINE!

GET TO IT NOW!

Martin Luther King-38 years. Bernie Mac-50 years. Steve Jobs- 56 years. Tupac- 25 years. Ryan White- 18 years. Jesus Christ- 33 years. Heavy D- 44 years. Whatever your talents, MAKE SURE THAT THE EARTH KNOWS YOU WERE HERE WHEN YOU LEAVE. What are you waiting for?

This is a quote (actually a status update from one of my friends on "the Facebook" (as I like to call it).  It struck me as powerful---as I'm sure it did most of you--- when I read it for the first time.  Now, I have seen variations of the quote and each time, the inserted names have been different.  But, the thought behind it is always the same.  GET TO IT (WHATEVER "IT" IS....) NOW!  Stop saying you'll start your own business when the kids are older or when you can afford to quit your day job (WHEN WILL THAT BE?)  Don't delay that trip to Africa or Europe or even to the other side of the United States any longer.  If you have a book idea or a novel idea to help your office run more efficiently or even if you have a new way to budget your family finances that will change the way your family lives....GET TO IT NOW!  I know....I'm preaching to the choir but when I look at the names in this list and think of all they accomplished, I feel like I want to do more.  Now, don't misunderstand me to be saying that you aren't doing enough where you are in your journey.  SOME of us are doing above and beyond what this world requires of us (for our families, our jobs, our communities).  But others of us are just hitting the line, and we go above and below it at different times.  If you are just hitting the line, then I'm encouraging you to rise above it consistently.  I often think about my legacy and what my children and their children will say about the person I was to them, the contributions I made to the world they live in and how they feel that impacted who they became.  That's one of my motivations.  The others are that I know WHOSE I am (I say that all the time) and I know my destiny.  With those things always in the forefront of my mind, I'm ever striving to move forward with each step of the journey...I hope you'll take a look at yourself and decide that--- if you are just hitting the line with your dreams fulfilled, your mission accomplished and your date with destiny---you'll take it up a notch and join me as we strive to GET TO IT NOW!

EXPECT MORE THAN YOU COULD EVER THINK OR IMAGINE!

 

I'll tend to the field another day!

As Grace eats her oatmeal, I'm thinking about the great feast that I've been invited to.  My Gospel lesson (from the 14th chapter of Luke) this morning talks about the parable of the banquet feast; where the host invites his friends to dinner.  The problem comes when all of the invited guests offer excuses as to why they can not come to the feast.  One man has to tend to his new field and another has just bought five oxen and another says he's married.  A new field.....REALLY!?  Jesus had already told the host that when he prepares a feast, he should invite the lame and blind and poor...(in my mind, they're people who really want....maybe even need... to partake of the feast).  The host, not unlike us, was inviting people who might be able to return the invite.  Well, the parable suggests that we don't need to limit our invites to those who can return them.  That's not the point of the feast.  The point, and my lesson for this morning, is that we have been invited to a great feast and whether we believe it or not, we are the lame, blind and poor.  We need to go to the dinner table that's been prepared.  I, as I'm sure many of you do, offer excuses all the time as to why I decline the invite (at different times and seasons in life).  Careers, marriages, children, lots of money, not enough money, fear, doubt, hurt, distrust....a new field that needs attention.  Yes, to God our excuses sound just as ridiculous as tending to a new field sounds to me.  Sure, there is some (plenty) validity to what we offer as a reason (excuse) for not establishing and maintaining a committed relationship with God, but at what cost are we declining the dinner invitation.  Should we not offer ourselves (and ultimately God) to those in our lives who need us....those who need to be fed spiritually, emotionally...  Should we not accept that same offer from God and those he's placed in our lives.  Today, I'm preparing my heart, mind and spirit to be fed....I'll tend to the field another day!

Sun...shine...on....me

I sit at the table as the sun lowers its face towards me
It's a lovely site as I squint and smile at the thought of the sun soon taking a dip in the lake
As Grace enjoys the company of her building blocks and name plate...Joni Mitchell, Alison Krauss....Nina Simone....they serenade me...and take me there...to that place....where my spirit shines and all is well
Evening is near and the day will soon be done and this moment will be but a memory....
But for now....SUN....SHINE....ON....ME!

Empowerment... come forth!

This word has been on my mind and in my heart for a week now.  Last week, I was visiting with a girlfriend who's been having some issues on her job.  Well, we were talking things over while sipping coffee and sharing a bagel.  During the conversation, I suggested a possible way to rectify the work situation.  As to not overstep, I asked her if what I said seemed reasonable and she said...."no, it's a good idea and I'll try it.  I knew I'd feel empowered after talking to you, so I'll try it."  She said it and moved on... but it got me to thinking.  I started processing a collage of thoughts; the least of which was what made her believe that she'd be empowered after talking with me.  Here I was (am) in the middle of my life, sometimes easy, sometimes hard...empowering a friend.  Then "the stuff" came.  Who am I to empower someone and I'm still trying to figure out where to start with my communications company?  Now fast forward a week to a conversation I had with another friend about said communications company.  In a 30 minute conversation, I was able to bounce some ideas off of her and get some solid feed back and some stellar suggestions.  I was empowered!  I had come full circle with the give and take of what makes us human.  Sometimes we have it to give and sometimes we need it to be given to us.  Yes, I know....some of you are always ready to give...full of that which is needed from you and rarely finding yourselves in a place of needing anything, let alone empowerment, from anyone else.  But, I'm talking about the rest of us :o)  So, I realized (again) that it's okay to run like the wind and get it done....moving and shaking.  It's also okay to be like the lily's of the field who take no thought for tomorrow knowing that tomorrow will take care of itself....and it only took me a week.  So, whether you're on the giving or receiving end today....I say to you....Empowerment... come forth!

Happy Parenthood Day...

I don't know if you watch the NBC show Parenthood (I actually got turned on to it by a friend who has an autistic son, and one of the issues the show deals with is autism.)  Anyhoo, on yesterday's episode (yay for DVR), one of the characters has a baby.  During that scene, I was just watching it thinking about that moment....it's SOOOO AMAZING!!!! I know every parent...as well as those who have been a part of the birthing process on whatever level...  remembers it.  Yeah, the pushing and breathing  and the ice chips and the lip balm (for the dry lips) are unforgettable, but I'm talking about the welcoming of a life into this world.  I still marvel at the idea.  I mean, I get the science of it and how a sperm meets an egg and so on and so forth, but when I think of the portal...the vessel I was able to be for LIFE.... I'm WOWED!  When I think of what God allowed me and my husband to do...I'm GRATEFUL!
I am often reminded of that when I'm overwhelmed or when I'm tired and frustrated and overextended in one way or another....I look at Grace and remember.  We often say it...they didn't ask to be here and on top of that, the time and effort it took to get her here are invaluable.  It's a moment that really stays with me. 
As a parent, no matter what age or stage, we really do have an awesome responsibility....to love and care for them as the grow; to guide and nurture them along the way; and to pass on a legacy and a heritage that will live on even after we're gone.  It's unofficial, but Happy Parenthood Day!

The seasons change and so we grow!

It's Fall already!  We were just enjoying the beaches of Hilton Head for Labor Day, and now the bathing suits are in the back of the drawer (not yet packed away but that's for another day:o).  I recently had to go through some clothes given to me by my niece who has a daughter.  With the season change came some cooler temperatures so we needed leggings and long pants and closed toe shoes and long sleeve t-shirts.  Even still, the moment the temperatures dropped, with socks on her feet and a hat on her head, Grace still caught a cold....AARRGH! She had the Croup Cough.  It was pretty scary at first because she sounded like she was wheezing and couldn't breath and she would get scared and cry each time a deep cough came.  And it hurt her chest.  Talk about a mother feeling like she couldn't do anything.  We're getting a flu shot this morning actually.  We just returned from a road trip to Tallahassee for my college Homecoming celebration.  It was a fun time, but Grace is still not quite 100%, and I don't want to chance it. It's too much at stake...
She's 21 months old and growing more and more each day.  She has long legs so she stands as tall as a 2 year old.  She's using words and phrases but not yet sentences.  Right now, Panda and Violet are her favorite stuffed buddies.  She gave up the binky 3 months ago and is just now able to get in her bed and fall asleep without it as a comfort....hence Panda and Violet and her blanket.   I'm amazed at how fast she's growing and how smart she is.  With each day comes a new look or action or sign of independence.  I know that's how it happens but I'm amazed nonetheless.  The days go by, the seasons change and so we grow! 

Remembering 911...A decade ago

I'd awakened early that morning to hit I-10 headed west to Pensacola from Tallahassee (FL).   I was going to fly to Japan with my parents who were going to see my brother.  As a career sailor, he was stationed there , and was being made Chief of the Boat.
It's funny how we all know where we were and what we were doing when 9/11 happened....as in an historic event of catastrophic proportion that would, for most of us, change our way of life. 
I'd gotten on the road around 7:30 that morning to make the 3 hour drive home.  As is my usual on a road trip, I started out with the available radio stations but soon found myself listening to cassette tapes (I KNOW:O) when the only stations left were light rock and country.  So, for the next two and a half hours, I was away from any news and information. By the time I would get to Pensacola, my momma would greet me at the door with the news.  "Hey, you ready to go to Japan?", I said.  She replied, "girl, we ain't going nowhere; they're flying planes into buildings in New York".  I heard her but didn't quite get it until I went into the house and saw the frightening images on the television.  By that time, both of the twin towers had been hit, and it would be only a short time until they would both consequently collapse.  Devastating to watch....unimaginable to live through. 
The first year or two, may be even three or four, found many of us more aware....maybe even scared.  Stricter security measures were  put into place by the Transportation Security Administration and threat levels were raised.  Threat levels....I think that was the first time I and many like me had experienced an act of terrorism or any semblance of an act so great that life as you know it....CHANGES!  Al qaeda, and Osama Bin Laden would be deemed responsible.  But before that, first responders would dig through rubble and debris in an effort to rescue any survivers;  the body count would rise, and remains would go unfound and the souls of those loved by someone in this world would come to rest at the same place where their lives would be lost.  Literally,  it would be years....and fast forward to a decade later before those most closely affected by 9/11 would begin to put the pieces back together....if at all. 
As I watch the ceremonies and dedications of memorials on television, as I see the families still deeply moved by the mentioning of their loved one's names...as I see 9 year old kids-- who never met their fathers-- carry a picture or wear a t-shirt with the name or face of their dad on it, I am reminded of just how resilient we really can be.  I 'm reminded of how we can come together for the common good of humankind.  I'm am reminded that as a wife, a mother, a sister,  an aunt, a cousin, a friend....I am loved and truly have so much for which to be grateful.  I am reminded that, in spite of that dreadful day, ten years ago, life continues....even through me.  The  circle of life continues as both of my parents have since died, and those lives lost are still remembered... whether by their loved ones who knew them intimately... or by me who became aware of them as a part of their death.  I remember 9/11/2001 and I am saddened, encouraged and overwhelmingly thankful.

It's a "real" change of pace at least

What is it about reality shows?  I don't know, but I'm guilty of watching my share for sure.  I've slacked off a bit because I find that the more women on one show, the bigger and more frequent the cat fights.  It's for that reason I no longer watch Housewives....of any city.  I stopped watching Basketball Wives after Tami's constant attempt to keep an interesting storyline by being overly aggressive every chance she got.  Never you mind that because just as one show's season is ending in my world, another is beginning!  I tuned in to the new season of T.O. (there's just something about Terrell Owens that makes him kind of likable).  I tried to watch La La (because I think she too is likable), but I couldn't get into it.  Her life seemed more fun to watch when she was planning her wedding to Carmelo Anthony.  I've never been in to any of the Kardashians (I'm not even sure I'm spelling it right and didn't bother to spell check it anywhere....that's just how uninterested I am in their lives).  Although, I have to admit, I tried to like Khloe because I want to like Lamar Odom.  Ice T and Co Co....in my best Whitney Houston voice....HELL TO THE NAW.  Not only am I not interested in them, I wish they didn't have a show.  (Cringe) As bad as reality tv is...it went down a notch, in my opinion, when that show started airing.  Anyhoo....like them or not, they're everywhere.  Scripted shows are slowly becoming more and more difficult to find.  There are the supposed "helpful" reality shows including Hoarders and Intervention.  I watch those and realize my reality is pretty good.  It may not be the lavish living of sipping wine with friends all day everyday or shopping and dining out and fussing and cussing and saying I'm sorry and buying floors at grand hotels or traveling the world with no care about cost....but it is real, which is more than I can say for some of my favorite "reality" shows.  All the edited chaos aside and attempts to make a storyline where there is none, I guess I enjoy the laughs provided from moments that spur the occasional OMG spoken out loud.  While the "actors" are often striving for the spin-off and the unscripted scripts are filled with what seems to be fake "made for reality tv" converstions....I watch.  If nothing else, reality tv provides a "real" change of pace at least.

Hallelu....Hallelu....Hallelujah (sing it with me)

... woke up this morning with my mind....stayed on Jesus...I woke up this morning with my mind....stayed on the Lord...Hallelu....Hallelu....Hallelujah!  It's an old gospel song that the deacons and the mothers of the church would belt out in praise to God.  It also seemed that they would shout with grateful hearts because they were indeed waking up on this side of the living and because they knew what was important and had a mindset that was not of this world.  The things I did not understand as a child growing up in the church are somehow clearer than ever with the eyes and heart of a woman; a woman who's been of the world and of the spirit and back and forth over and over again.  I have recently been more concerned with the things of the world.  I've been overly concerned about money and the "things" I'd like to have.  I've been OVER the top.  Over eating, over drinking, over spending, over indulging....OVER, OVER, OVER.  Well, in reading the Gospel Of Mark (4:1-20) this morning, I was reminded of the parable of the sower of seeds.  Some seeds fell on rocky ground, some took no root, some fell on thorny ground and was choked up, and some fell in to good soil, took root and grew.  I started thinking about where I was as a seed that had been planted many moons ago and realized, I still have room to grow.  I want to be in the world, but not of the world.  I want to focus on taking root in those things which are good and worthy and full of life.  I want to continue to grow.  I woke up feeling renewed and focused and ready for the chance to start again.  A new day....another opportunity to get it right.  The mothers of the church knew what they were singing....I woke up this morning with my mind....stayed on Jesus....I woke up this morning with my mind....stayed on the Lord....Hallelu....Hallelu....Hallelujah!

I surrender all....

Lately, I've been constantly reminded that each moment, each day is special for whatever it offers.  I'm learning to be (more) present with my family and to be more available to the needs of others, my ability... and mostly to God's Will.  In the midst of wondering if I'll be hired for a possible job, I've had to dial down my emotions and calm my expectations.  In the beginning of the process, I was elated and couldn't stop thinking of the possibilities.  But as the the process started to take longer than expected, I had to call into question my mindset, my motives and my mission.  Why was I really so excited?  Was it about being gainfully employed, being back on television or being validated by a career in a way that motherhood doesn't immediately allow?  Well, as time has gone by (almost two months), I've settled down and settled into the idea of at least two out of the three.  I've realized that a job won't validate me if I don't validate myself.  I am _______, hear me roar!  Possible jobs, the realization that some friends aren't true (a lesson learned over and over at different intervals in life), the pleasant surprise that some friends are truer  than I thought and the embracing of unconditional love without fear that it will be taken away, have all managed to break me down and build me up simultaneously (It is possible)!  I still wait for the good news of the impending job (it's all good), and I continually contemplate how to rise to the next level as a wife, a mother, a person....and to that end....I surrender all!

Playing catch up has been plenty fun!

I look at the date of my last post and realize it's been over a month since I blogged. WOW! I know I've been busy and on the go but my goodness....over a month. Then it hit me that the best way to really convey what a whirlwind it's been is to share the moments through photos. Grace has outgrown one of her bathing suits so she has one faithful suit--which she will continue to use-- until her aunt (who pointed out that Grace always has on the same suit) buys her another one. Anyhoo :o), Grace and her suit have been in the Atlantic while on Amelia Island for Mother's Day, the Gulf....that would be Pensacola Beach for Memorial Day, and the likes of her pink three ring backyard pool which turns into a little piece of heaven each time I see her in it. It's been a splash of a time for her and for me as the pictures will tell...and, well....I think I'm finally catching up with myself...and it's been plenty fun!

Good Friday

The alter is bare and the crosses are draped in black...It's Good Friday and Sunday's a comin'.
All day I've been mindful of the good that would and will come out of the bad so many years ago.
I sit here watching The Passion of Christ with anticipation....but in this moment I reflect on who Christ is to me and what today means for my life...
Sunday's a comin' but today is Good Friday...

Could a step back from technology really be a couple of steps forward?

I deactivated my Facebook page! I know...no more FB...why....for how long...what will you do with all that time you used to spend on FB? I'm sure these are some of the questions that popped into your head. They're questions I'm asking myself actually. In all honesty, I've been thinking about doing this for a while (maybe since the beginning of the year). As my "friends" list began to grow, it occurred to me that I hadn't seen, talked to or even thought about many of the people that I was now letting into my world, my personal space. I was sharing the special occasions in my life, my thoughts, the growing up of my daughter...and I was doing all of this with "virtual" strangers. Don't get me wrong, on the flip side, I was able to see into people's lives and have "shared" experiences with them without actual interaction. Maybe I opened my world up to too many "friends". I probably would have been better served by keeping my circle small and intimate. The funny thing about that is I have less than 200 "friends", of whom I'm certain only a handful have even noticed that I no longer exist on FB, and that number IS small for a FB roster. With all of that going on in my head, it didn't help that I recently watched "The Social Network". It's the movie based on Mark Zuckerberg and the founding of Facebook. Now, I'm not certain how much of the movie was fact versus Hollywood, but I was put off by Zuckerberg's character and the the way it all went down. I've had the discussion with some as to whether or not I am being oversensitive to the way he was handling business and how he was a genius who was just in his own head all the time and how the twins who sued him were the real jerks of the movie. I've even heard that Zuckerberg says he isn't really like his character in the movie. I get it... and I'm probably being ridiculous seeing as how I'd stop using a lot of goods and services if I saw a movie about they way they came to be. Nevertheless, I was feeling a certain way about this particular thing and ,just for now, took action. To reactivate my page is as simple as logging into my FB account with my email address and password. They make it very easy to return to my "friends". In the meantime, I have the phone numbers and addresses, both physical and virtual, for the "friends" I actually want to access and vice versa. I guess I'll have to spend more time reading or writing or playing with Grace or surfing the internet for other favorite pages to visit. I'll also have to find another way to distribute this post...as FB made it easy to publish for all my "friends" to read. Given all that, I still have to wonder if my step back from that piece of technology and social networking won't somehow be a couple of steps forward for ME in the long run. Only time will tell. So, until I return to FB, call me, email me or send me a letter...."friends". I'll miss you while I'm gone.

It really is a charming life....

It's a Sunday afternoon and I know people don't really want to hear about how nice it feels to be relaxing as my Bath and Body Works Stress Relief Aromatherapy candle burns. I mean, we went to church this morning and got our praise on, and now Grace is napping and I'm vegging out! We've had so much company lately, WHICH WE LOVE, but it also feels good to be back to our normal; to level set and get back to base. I realize that this "blog" is more like an online journal. I share too much and too intimately, but the release is the best part. I also hope there's something in my routine that may encourage, uplift or tickle you. At any rate, the reality is that we have been sooo busy until I haven't been focusing on my Lenten disciplines as much as I should and certainly not as much as when Lent started. Our lives have been filled with randomness that's been nice. For instance, I received an online dress order for Grace. It's a blue smocked dress with two ribbons on the side of a center cross. She'll wear it to take her picture with the Easter Bunny! YAY!
I enjoy Easter and the newness it symbolizes. Last year's bunny looked like a rat. This year's bunny is actually kind of cute...in a "bunny with a pink satin vest on" kind of way.
Grace's God parents were here to love on her and go to the Master's practice round. Dale also went but because we were told Grace needed a ticket too, I didn't go. I got a nice visor though! I celebrated another birthday, as I've probably mentioned.
We've found a church and are in a groove. It feels nice to have a regular place of worship and fellowship. Grace even went to her first birthday party yesterday. It was an invite from one of our church members. She had fun...which meant I had a blast.
It's all so mundane and normal and the stuff mom's and families do all the time.
It's our normal and ....it really is a charming life!

What what!....a lesson from my Radio Shack clearance purchase

I know...the "what what" IS a bit over the top, but so is my latest purchase from Radio Shack. It's the clearance Turquoise Tiki I-3 Case-Mate. Yep, I got a new phone case. I'm so late....my phone is a model ago, soon to be two models ago. Now, my phone case is the latest in clearance purchases for my old phone. Clearance reeks of being...not quite the latest. Anyway, I had a choice of the one I got and a clear snap-on case for a whole $10 more. My first thought was "What am I going to do with a turquoise tiki phone case." I laughed in the store with the sales girl and told her I could hear my husband saying "what is that on your phone". I had a thought of stepping into a newsroom or conference room or church or even pulling my phone out at a friends house and hearing a big gasp (or seeing a purposeful stare). I'm chuckling even now. Then it hit me that Grace would love it. It's bright, playful and filled with a neat design that will hold her attention for at least 3 minutes, and that's long enough to refresh my coffee if not go to the restroom. I decided it was a great purchase for a mom who wants to offer and share life experiences with her daughter. It was the perfect clearance purchase for my stage in life, and even if I end up getting a more conservative case for my more up to date I-4 phone, I'm going to enjoy the latest purchase. It was more than just a clearance purchase, it was a lesson learned....Now is what we have; it's what matters even as we prepare for "the future". As I finalized my purchase, I remembered the lilies of the field and how they take no thought for tomorrow. Tomorrow will take care of itself but today, I bought a Turquoise Tiki Case-Mate (SMILE!)

Grace's Grass Dance

So much and so little....all at the same time

Well, I just celebrated another birthday, and it was fabulous! I had a few members of my sister circle in South Carolina to celebrate with me. I was loved on and cared for, and it felt good... I got some really nice presents, too. :O)
As the Lenten season continues, I'm still in boot camp and consuming less of the things that aren't good for my body or spirit. I'm down 22 pounds since November and counting. The idea of losing weight and being a better version of me has now become a way of life (again). I still enjoy being home with Grace full time, even as I explore my employment options. Options....
It seems as though a lot has been going on. I've been "busy". Grace is growing like the proverbial weed. We've found a doctor for her here in SC, so my visits to Tallahassee, FL will now have to be more intentional. We've met some neighbors and church members who have friends close to Grace's age, and we've started going to Gymboree classes. She has a small vocabulary (mama, dada, milk, up), but she understands far more words than she can say. She enjoys afternoon strolls and makes a great "flying bird" motion anytime she sees one in the sky. Every four legged animal gets a "bark" as they must all look like a dog to her. And she absolutely enjoys doing her "grass dance". It started when she realized that grass under her feet felt distinctly different from the concrete driveway. Once she started stomping at it because it gave when she moved, it became her grass dance!
We're moving right along. As we continue to become more involved in our new community, we find ourselves doing so much and so little all at the same time. While I like the idea of doing more, I also like the idea of doing less. Spring is here (even if this week's temperatures don't know it), and the idea of lazily sitting by the lake or sitting on the porch watching the sun rise or set is appealing. We try and balance that with the continuing effort to make our new city home which means being out and about.
So much and so little going on all at once...
As Dale continues to thrive at SC State University, Grace and I take advantage of going on business trips with him. We've been plotting weekends on the calendar for friends and family to visit us for getaways and planning a few of our own.
I'm mindful of what is going on in the world (Japan, Libya, college basketball, continued bullying, hunger and homelessness and the like), while maintaining sanctity and sanity in my little corner of it. Like I said, so much and so little going on...all at the same time.

Sacrifice

I started a boot camp this morning. I was like a kid waiting for the first day of school...I had another 5 minutes of sleep left before my alarm would go off at 4:50, but I didn't need them. I've been trying to figure out why I was and am so excited to be a part of this Monday, Wednesday and Friday early morning adventure for the next several weeks. I believe it's because of the possibilities. I have 6 weeks to turn my sacrifice into the outcome I want. With the cooperation of my husband, WHO CHANGED FLIGHT PLANS FOR A BUSINESS TRIP SO I COULD MAKE THE FIRST CLASS TODAY (Grace is not ready for boot camp yet:o), and the expertise of the instructor, I can get results. I have to continue to count calories and exercise on the other days of the week, with the exception of my rest day. I have to stay motivated to get up and get moving, and I have to put in the work. Sacrifice....I see it as part of my Lenten discipline as we head into Lent and the Easter season. Some people give up something and others, like myself, take on something. Sacrifice....feels good... and that's a positive outcome even before my waistline shrinks and arms and thighs tone. I'll keep you posted!

Happy where I am?!...

The question mark followed by an exclamation point is something I do....but in this instance, it's relevant. It's sometimes a question mark but today....as in this season of my life...it's a statement. It's an exclamation even! If you're like me, then you often plan for the future; you have a five year plan; you know how you'd ideally like to see things, and you have a plan to that end. What I've been learning in my newest season is this...I have to be content where I am. (PERIOD) If I'm to move to a next place...OR NOT....it's important that I live in the now. Whether I'm made ruler of many or not, I must be faithful over the present few. I heard Yolanda Adams talk about this on her show this morning. She talked about how sometimes God wants to know that you'll be okay where he has you before He takes you to the next place. Single friends,,, be present in your singleness before God brings your mate (never been married, divorced, etc.). Couples with no children....wait on Him and enjoy each other in the meantime. Couples with growing children waiting to be children-less again....it's coming, but until then...enjoy the family lifestyle for now. It applies to enjoying the job you're working, the classes you're taking....the life you're living. If God has you in your present place, be present and accounted for until your change comes. Now, this is key....if your change doesn't come now....or later....will you still be present and GRATEFUL? It's somewhat of a proverbial rock and hard place situation because we are supposed to reach for the stars and want more out of life. Yet, we're called to be content in whatever situation we find ourselves. The good news is... we get a choice. The better news is... it's not as difficult as we make it out to be.
I had a call this morning that gave me hope on the job front. I'm certain it's because I'd given myself permission to be okay where I am. I don't want to live like a default SAHM. I'm here now and enjoying myself. I believe the next level in South Carolina will come. If it does...GREAT...and if it doesn't, will I continue to be happy where I am?! I choose yes.

Grace is sufficient

I'm sitting here in Washington National Airport and just thinking...
I'm really excited to see my daughter in a couple of hours. On the flight here to DC, the pilot announced that we would be landing in 15 minutes...well, he apparently made that announcement too soon because that 15 minutes turned into a turbulent circling of the airport that took 35 minutes. I can be a nervous flier, but nerves aside, I really started to feel anxious. We were going back up instead of down, and I hadn't heard the landing gear come down. Of course, my mind started going to everything from the landing gear was broken to there's a situation at the airport that called for no incoming traffic. Well, as it turns out, it was just backed up traffic; that's what the crew says anyway. At any rate, I began to feel most anxious during that ordeal when I thought of Grace and how if anything happened...I'm certainly aware of my mortality and try to live in a way that suggests that, but I had all these thoughts.
Would she remember me if she didn't see me again? My sister who was keeping her would instantly be a mom in my stead. How I'd miss out on so much. Well, the good news is that the bad news wasn't true (or the bad thoughts anyway). I lived to see another day and had a fabulous time with my husband, Dale (who was very comforting while I was going through my moment of anxiety). I'm headed back to my regular life with a little more appreciation for it and for life itself. I don't take it for granted. I'm grateful everyday for the Grace God has shown me and given me! It really is sufficient.

Mommy's a woman, too....

I had Sangria with lunch today (two glasses actually):o) While it's been really hard to be away from my baby, it's also been good for me. Being in DC hanging out, having dinner with my husband at Grace's Mandarin, going to the Smithsonian Museum of African Art and Museum of American History (it's been years), having lunch at Lauriol Plaza, taking pictures next to a cut-out of President Obama and just doing things as they come has reminded me that...mommy is a woman, too!

Brokenness...

The word brokenness has been coming to mind all week...
I was in my old stomping ground, Tallahassee, this past weekend, and the possibilities were endless. I was there for an actual doctor's appointment for Grace, but that didn't stop me from visiting with some dear friends. Time was limited, so I wasn't able to see all of the old friends I'd hoped to see. There were schedules and trips and life happening, and that didn't stop because the Wessons were in town. Nevertheless, I was reminded of how special it is to be in a place of being loved and cared for by a community of people. I was reminded of how good it feels to be with old friends...to laugh at will...to share a thought or a feeling without ridicule. It was good for us to be there.
Then I get back to SC... a place of want; a place where the relationships just aren't there (yet); a place where I am totally dependent on God and that relationship for comfort; a place where I've been stripped of familiarity. I miss calling up a girlfriend for coffee or lunch or dinner or a quick visit...all of which happened while in Tally...
I was even "spotted" as the lady on the news, and I haven't been on the news in Tallahassee in six months. It was fun and endearing.
Brokenness...still working on the word and it's meaning for me right now...just know it's something I'm supposed to experience....
Hmmmm....
Brokenness...

Be an inspiration!.....

I was just reading the blog of a friend of mine who recently relocated to Japan! Yep, she just up and moved ( no, it's never that simple or that easy), but the gist is that she had some friends over there, wanted to take the bull by the horn, got into school, bid a difficult farewell to her family and friends and moved! She's been blogging about the experience and it sounds amazing! YES, SHE'S INSPIRED ME! No, not to move to Japan or any foreign country for that matter. She's inspired me... to do me; to make any necessary changes to get to where I want to be; to do that thing that may not be the easiest or most popular; to take inventory of my life and decide...who, when, where and how (yes, the consummate journalist)! The best part of being inspired by my friend's blog is that...it wasn't her intention. She was simply being the person she was created to be! Living life and sharing the good! I'm encouraged to do that and be that for someone in my life. How about you....are you ready to...be an inspiration?!

Note: Her blog is japanthroughmylens.blogspot.com
Enjoy!

So you say you want a man.....well, he's yours for the taking!

I'm probably on a tangent-slash-borderline-soapbox because I just came back from a getaway weekend with my husband; we're celebrating our 3rd year anniversary. I had time to reflect, look within, dream, fantasize, imagine...be thankful.
When I wasn't married, I too sang the anthem of many of my single friends and family...."I want a man in my life...a companion...a partner...someone to share my dreams with...to travel with....to grow with...I want a husband"! I sang it, and from family members to girlfriends to women I hardly even know....the song is the same. I know what the statistics say (they're not good). I've seen what's been written regarding single women over 40 (particularly black women) and the odds against them getting married. I GET IT....I REALLY DO....(yes, this is where the BUT comes).....BUT, he's out there if you really want him and are willing to compromise...YOU HEARD SETTLE....I said compromise. Girl, I have seen your list...Jesus isn't good enough for you. I mean, you need the list, but you don't need to adhere to it so sternly. Be flexible...YOU HEARD SETTLE...I said be flexible. Before I married my husband, there were things about him that weren't on my list. What, you ask? Well, without putting my husband out there, suffice it to say, we're still working on some of the things from that list. But, I saw many things about him that I did like and eventually grew to love. Be open to letting your list guide you... not hold you hostage!
And you have to get out there. I know...a man who findeth a wife...which translates to many of you that you don't need to be out "looking for a man". Many of you don't believe in initiating, especially if he's going to be more than a date or worse, a one night stand (YES, SOME OF YOU ARE STILL HAVING THOSE). Well, don't initiate, but get out so he can initiate with you. I'm not talking about clubbing necessarily...go to jazz night at the local talent sampler. Go to the bookstore, order a coffee drink and sit a while. Go to a friends house for their next soiree. Host a soiree at your house and ask each single girl to invite a single guy. Just be open to meeting someone when you're out. It happens even at the grocery store or the cleaners or the bank. Take advantage of the small talk that will go by quickly and leave you wondering what you should have said. Guys know the numbers and they know they have the upper hand in that regard, but like I always say, it only takes one to make a difference in your life. Be open to him. Pray and make your request known to God, put the energy out there when you go out, and expect him. Even if you believe there are no men out there, amend that to believe that there are no men out there other than the one that's out there for you. DON'T WORRY ABOUT YOUR SINGLE SISTERS. They, too, are praying and expecting. It will work out! Be open to who it might be, how it might happen and even how you might feel at first. Then accept that the man who doesn't fit your list and isn't as "fill in the blank" as you had hoped...might be your huzzzband:o)...and go out with him at least twice. Go for a coffee or wine at first because anybody can sit through a drink. Then if you make it through that, go out for a lengthier date and make magic (don't wait for it to happen to you). Be proactive (that's watch as well as pray for my Christian sisters). And if you are doing nothing and it's happening for you, tell me how you did it. For the rest, enjoy and be active in your singleness because the dynamics change once you're married (blog for a later time)...and if you want a man like you say....trust and believe that he's yours for the taking!


***I'd love your feedback either way....if it's too hard to comment on this page, email me at lenitaywesson@gmail.com or post a comment on my Yvonne Williams Facebook wall***

What a Year!

When I left work on Friday, January 8th of last year, I knew I'd be a mom before the weekend was over...and so it was! The contractions started first thing the morning of the 9th. They were mere cramps so of course I'd continue with my day as planned. That morning I had a "Mocha Moms" interest meeting. Dale drove me to the meeting around 10 and picked me up shortly after noon. All the while, I'm having contractions periodically; nothing too elaborate but enough to know...We went to lunch at a new buffet place in Tallahassee. I had some meat loaf and lima beans...I would later learn why that was a huge mistake. It was about 3 that afternoon by the time we got home and the intensity began. We got our stopwatch and started timing the length of the contractions and how often they were coming. Well, by the time they got to be 15 minutes apart, it was about 5 o'clock. We decided it was time to go to the hospital. Dale grabbed my bag and I grabbed my pillow and purse and we were off. It was starting to hurt! When we arrived at the the hospital, the contractions seemed to be closer together but they still weren't lasting too long. In any case, I knew they wouldn't send me home at this point. They checked us into a room and we made some calls to let family know it was happening. I called my two coaches...my niece, Ty, and my daughter, Galen. I changed clothes, put on my comfy socks and let nature take its course. Fast forward through 6 hours of intense contractions, some laps around the labor and delivery floor, the Diary of a Mad Black Woman, the reckoning of the meatloaf and lima beans, some major fatigue and we're at midnight. At that point, the doctor had to break my water which still didn't get me to dilate at the rate we'd hoped for. I suffered through another 7 hours to a shift change and a dose of pitocin...which made all the difference! The contractions became fierce and baby was ready (at that time, I still didn't know whether it was Grace or Miles) but it would only be another hour or so before the doctor was in position. Push down....that's it.... you're doing good (as CeCe Winans' Throne Room blared in the background).... Ok....rest and when you feel another contraction....Push....I see the head.... You're almost there....Ok...you're going to feel what we call the ring of fire....just push through it and the hardest part will be over. OMG...Push...I see why they call it the ring of fire....It's Grace! Sunday, January 10, 2010 9:53 a.m., 7 lbs.1 oz., 19 3/4 inches.
Nursing and crying and sleeping and growing and rolling over and crawling and cooing and getting on a schedule and not getting on a schedule and sitting up and spitting up and pulling up and growing up and clapping and waving and winking or blinking and smiling and melting my heart and kissing and hugging and cruising and walking and....WHEW....What a Year!

Another photo album by Smilebox

It's True What They Say...It Goes By Fast

In the spirit of "blogging", I'm sitting here thinking about the errands I need to run to get ready for Grace's first birthday celebration.  No, I'm not "going all out"; I'm much too practical for that. But, I am going to mark the occasion for her and for us.  I read in one of my many parenting resources that Dale and I should also celebrate our first year of her life.  Well, I keep looking at pictures from then until now,  and I'm amazed at how much she's grown and developed.  January 10, 2010 she entered the world, and as is the proverbial saying, my life changed forever.  She's gone from sleeping and crying and eating and starting the cycle over again to cooing and crawling and walking and downright navigating her way through her space in this world.  I'm blessed and excited to be planning her first birthday celebrtion and her future and the rest of her life :o) Isn't that what mothers do?!  She's still sleeping which is the ONLY reason I'm blogging this early in my day, but I was having this moment of Grace :o) and it hit me that it's true what they say about enjoying every minute and not taking any moments for granted because time...life...it goes by fast. Grace is calling(calling, crying...it adds up to the same thing)....moment over!