Calm...

This weekend will be extremely busy.  One of my oldest and dearest friends is getting married in Atlanta, GA, and I'm in the wedding.  Seeing as how I was just out of town this past weekend, I've spent the last couple of days in a tizzy.  Today....I declared a state of calm.  Even in the midst of making breakfast, running errands, washing and packing clothes, getting in a workout,  making lunch, tending to a 2 year old with a bad cough, checking email, writing, planning church committee meetings, sending emails, searching the blogs, taking phone calls, making phone calls, making dinner, giving a bath and taking a moment for mom....I willed calm into my space.  There were a couple of moments where I could have considered myself overwhelmed...but I wanted calm and prayed for calm and remained calm.  Sometimes it's all we can do to stay calm when things all around us are busy.  For many of us, busy is where we dwell.  We're busy at work and busy at home and busy in our minds and hearts and spirits.  People ask us how we've been and we say....busy.  It's an identifier of sorts.  The busyness is often necessary in this world we live in but to remain calm in the midst of this busy world....that's God.  It's that peace that passes all understanding.  Just as Jesus calmed the wind and raging waters even as the disciples declared there demise, so He calms me.  Lord, I believe; Help my unbelief.

EXPECT MORE THAN YOU COULD EVER THINK OR IMAGINE!

Perseverance...

First definition: steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., especially in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement.

In this moment, I'm tired.  It's mostly fatigue from the wear and tear of the day, but there's a bit of "I'm a little out of sorts" kind of tired, too.  The first one is an easy fix of a hot shower and a good night's rest.  The second...not so much.  Thus, the high points of perseverance...steady in purpose in spite of....discouragement.  If I keep moving, I'll get there.  If I don't give up, I'll reach my goal.  As I've said before, I'm trying to focus and pray and sacrifice and live in want and change....It's a lot (for me), and it's no wonder that with such lofty goals, I'd hit a wall.  But, that's no reason not to stay the course.  I sit here a little distracted and unable to focus, but the second definition is too important not to share.

Second definition:  Theology . continuance in a state of grace to the end, leading to eternal salvation.

I'm walking in favor.  I'm more than my circumstances or feelings.  I know that the light of day will bring with it some restoration.  I just have to be encouraged and stay the course;  And I don't have to move quickly....STEADY.  Lord, I believe; Help my unbelief.

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Change...

I've been thinking about taking artificial sweeteners out of my diet.  I've only been off meat for 6 days, but my mind says I feel better. My hope is that my body will follow.  It's that euphoria that happens when a drastic or major change takes place, and I want more of it.  You know, it's like the friend we all have who learns something new and they won't stop talking about it; or the new parent who suddenly knows everything about raising kids or....my favorite....the new Christian who can't stop...won't stop....talking about Jesus and how awesome he is.  You know....that "this feels good and I want more of it"....change.  Some forms of change are more difficult than others, but once you make the effort...There seems to be no going back or at the very least, things shift.
Have I been held back by meat or artificial sweeteners?  Will consistently taking them out of my diet make me a better version of myself? I say maybe....maybe not; my husband weighs in with an outright no (per our debate/discussion of the issue).  He says (and it's some truth to it) that what defiles the body is not what goes in but what come out. Perhaps... but I do believe the effort to change some things that could be keeping me from soaring are worth a try.  So it is with my faith...Changing some bad habits or outright sinful behavior can be difficult at best.  But, not putting forth the effort to shift the paradigm is a lot more damaging in the long run (so say I).  If I think about ALL the change that needs to or certainly could occur in my life, I get overwhelmed.  When I (with God's help) make changes that matter, bit by bit, I get encouraged.  Change is constant.  Thus, I want to effect positive change in my life and not be so affected by negative change always happening around me. 

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Trust...

This morning when Grace woke up, she realized that she was in her hotel bed alone.  She quickly went to get out and join me and her daddy in the next bed.  Keep in mind, this bed is close to 4 feet off the ground and Grace is a little over 3 feet tall.  So, she sits up, turns onto her stomach with her feet dangling off the side of the bed and eases down...inch....by....inch.  She has no means by which to assess how far away from the floor she really is.  Her little 2 year old self doesn't have the capacity to measure distances and such.  Yet, she continues to ease out of the bed....never looking down....until her feet hit the floor.  And after that, she doesn't look at what just happened in awe of herself; she doesn't ponder how she did that or belt out one of her notable "YAY's".  She hits the ground and runs to us yelling, "Mommy, Daddy". 
Trust....she wanted to get to her parents, her representation of safety and love.  She just got down and came running.  She trusted that her feet would hit the ground and that all would be fine as she made her way to us...
I want to hit the ground running (as they say).  I want to TRUST like that.  I want to trust my relationships. I want to trust my instincts.  I want to trust God...unequivocally.  Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief.

EXPECT MORE THAN YOU COULD EVER THINK OR IMAGINE!

Contentment...

"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. --Apostle Paul

The secret...Contentment can be so elusive that even Apostle Paul, one of the most committed to Jesus (once converted), found it to be difficult to attain.  What is it about not wanting just what we have or should I say not being satisfied in that state whatever it is?  If we learn to be okay in want, surely we can be okay in plenty....NOT....we want in want and we want in plenty.  I think it's not being tapped in to the source of fulfillment.   I watched Tyler Perry's Good Deeds today and thought about how great it would be to live in that much plenty....even as the character struggled with it. We each have our level of "I have so much, but I want so much more.'  I think that's another reason I like to give up something during Lent.  It allows me to want for something but to be okay because I'm reaching beyond myself to fulfill that want.  It's not easy...I've only been going without some of my guilty pleasures for a few days, and I miss them.  I miss them.  But, whether in want or in plenty, I WANT to be content.  I believe...Lord help my unbelief.

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Acceptance...

"God loves each of us as if there were only one of us"--Augustine
I want to live as if I really believe that.  I believe God loves me....but...(fill in the blank).
If I walked in  that vast ideal of love daily, how different would my life be?  What would I do less?  What would I do more?  I think that's a starting point for me....not just acknowledging that love ...yeah yeah God, I know you love me...but ACCEPTING that love....thank you Lord for loving me as much as you do.  I accept it, and I love you too... AND I know nothing can separate me from your love.   I'm trying to get there....I believe...Lord help my unbelief....

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Clarity....

I'm praying to God for clarity...really sensing a breakthrough on the horizon.  I have several projects that I'm working on and need the clarity of thought, word and deed to put pen to paper and finish up as well as make some phone calls.  I know the power that lives within in me because of WHOSE I am. I say that while thinking, Lord help my unbelief.  Hopefully as Lent goes on, I'll be more specific because it will be undoubtedly clear what God would have me do...FIRST!  As much as I've accomplished in life from being a career woman to marrying and starting a family and striving to be successful at all of it, I really believe I'm at a starting point.  I suppose it's a different place in the journey....a road of discernment.  I'm excited and full of expectation.. If I'm honest, there's also a bit of trepidation. 
 

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I LENT it to God and....I don't want it back!

One of my favorite times of the year, as a Christian, is the season of Lent.  In part it's because it leads up to Easter, my favorite Holy day.  But, the bigger picture is probably that I, like millions of Catholics, Anglicans and even Baptists fixate (focus is probably a better sounding word) on my relationship with God.  It's a time that through prayer, penance, repentance and my favorite...self denial...I attempt to grow closer to God in anticipation of Holy Week.  So, now that the Wikipedia version has been shared, how about my truth.  Grace and I went to Ash Wednesday service at noon to get our symbol of the cross placed on our foreheads.  I kept thinking...What of my ragged self will I give to God in these coming weeks in hopes of some sort of exchange. God, I give you my will in exchange for your bigger WILL; I give you my bad habits of over indulgence in an effort to be more like you; I give you my sins and hope to be made whole because of your son's death, burial and resurrection.  I know...this is why some of my Christian friends don't like the concept of Lent and don't actively give up or take on anything....because these are the things we should be doing in our relationships with God anyway.  I guess, for me, it's a time to recall how Jesus spent time in the wilderness praying and even being tempted by Satan before he set out to do public ministry.  It's a strengthening session....my Christian version of a Tony Robbins seminar where I'm encouraged to hit my peak performance as a lover of Jesus by following a tried and true plan of fasting, praying and giving up some things that I really enjoy in my worldliness...all in an effort to love him with all that I am and to love my neighbor as myself.  It sounds so simple, yet, it's a daily struggle.  Be in the struggle.  Whether it's about Lent for you or a way of daily living-as it should be- remember whose you are, recommit yourself to that identity and that relationship and renew your willingness to take up your cross and follow Him.

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Reflections...

Not unlike those of previous generations and many of you,  I have a growing list of "I remember exactly what I was doing when that happened."  As of last night, while spending time with my husband after putting my daughter to bed, "when Whitney Houston died" was added to that list.  Death is inevitable.  But that sometimes feels like the least of it.  It's tragic.  It's sad.  It's hurtful.  It's hard to understand.  It evokes compassion, sensitivity, sympathy and even empathy.  Those feelings are compounded when someone is taken "before their time."  I never met Whitney Houston and fortunately, that's not a prerequisite for acknowledging her talent, admiring her accomplishments and admonishing her demons.  There have been words of encouragement posted all over Face Book, fans have linked us to you- tube videos of some of her most popular and powerful works. I have thought about and relived some of my favorite Whitney Houston moments including, but not limited to, being a 12 year old girl singing along to "How Will I Know"and wishing I could have her pop style, including the bad big hair,  in the "Oh I Wanna Dance With Somebody" video.  Tears have been shed by many and for some, it's been a reminder that--- as the old folks say---Whitney has done what we all have to do.  We've had to face the reality that money, fame, notoriety...none of that makes us exempt.  Hopefully, we've taken time to sit with, talk to, care for and love on our family.  One of my biggest thoughts in the past 18 hours is that Bobbi Kristina, Whitney Houston's daughter with Bobby Brown, doesn't have a mother anymore.  I first felt that pain 11 years ago and it continues....it doesn't go away.  The worst of mothers are missed and longed for when they leave this world.  With all that the media has said about Whitney Houston through the years, I have no reason to believe that she didn't love her daughter....They say there's no love like a mother's love...and with that, my heart hurts for that 18 year old young woman.  She (Bobbi Kristina) has had her share of media headlines and now, she's in the biggest headline of her life so far.  My prayers certainly go out to her and to Whitney's mother, who now has to bury her daughter...a task that no parent ever hopes or imagines they'll have to do.
The Grammy's will air, tributes will continue, the truth behind her death, or as much of it as we'll ever know, will come out and we will live on.  That is not a bad thing even if it sounds crass.  The hope is that we'll live on with a bigger appreciation for life....a more grateful heart for the many blessings that we (I) take for granted...and with the understanding that we are mere mortals here on this earth but for a short time...prayerfully, with the intent to live out a purposeful life destined by God.  Or at the very least, doing the best we can in each moment that we are given.  May the soul of Whitney Houston and the souls of all the faithful departed rest in peace... Amen...Amen...Amen.

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Roland Martin...OPEN MOUTH, INSERT FOOT!

WELL...The fallout begins! Oddly enough, it says he's out "for the time being". WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? I hope they weren't looking for a reason and found it! I still haven't seen any apologies from Roland...but they will come before he returns to air on CNN. WHAT DO YOU THINK?

www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/02/08/roland-martin-suspended-cnn-super-bowl_n_1263276.html?ref=fb&src=sp&comm_ref=false#access_token=AAAAACuIpepUBACWCpyyh6Qs81PsfAxF9q4BDjG0GwoP9BZCl5bkoXY4X6a5fwCH3ikQtwR1cGYjaykJyeynChTnKUNN5okqUEsFT7xAZDZD&expires_in=4102

Dr. Cornel West vs. Al Sharpton...Oh Boy!

IN THE PAST, I was a real fan of Dr. Cornel West. NOW....Not so much. I would have thought, based on what I've read as far as his early works, and his Christian background that he'd be more supportive of progressive African-Americans. I've never been a big fan of Al Sharpton, nor am I familiar with the latest victim of Dr. West's attacks, BUT his aggression against President Obama left a very bitter taste for both him and Brother Tavis Smiley. It seems to me as if Dr. West isn't getting the attention he believes he deserves for his efforts then and now. As a result, I believe he is coming across as a rabble rouser. WHAT DO YOU THINK?

www.thegrio.com/politics/al-sharpton-defends-melissa-harris-perry-from-cornel-west.php

Komen Foundation Reverses Decision to End Funding to Planned Parenthood..***UPDATE TO LAST POST***

The wheel that squeaks gets the oil....My dad used to always say that when teaching me and my 5 brothers and sisters about speaking up for ourselves in an effort to let our position be known or effect change.  Apparently, it's true.  The Susan G. Komen For the Cure Foundation has decided to continue funding existing grants associated with Planned Parenthood.  The Foundation put out a statement Friday.  "We want to apologize to the American public for recent decisions that cast doubt upon our commitment to our mission of saving women's lives," ..."We will continue to fund existing grants, including those of Planned Parenthood, and preserve their eligibility to apply for future grants, while maintaining the ability of our affiliates to make funding decisions that meet the needs of their communities."
Well, pressure on that side and of course pressure on this side....While many who cried foul initially are pleased with the recent turn of events, some are still dissatisfied with Komen's decision.  Lawmakers were rallying before and now a different group of lawmakers are rallying.  IT DOESN'T END, and as the old saying goes, you can't please all of the people all of the time.  So, I don't think this is about victory or defeat so much as Komen realizing that the changes it attempted to make at this time were not in the best interest of the organization down the road.  It's certainly a life lesson to be learned... be it on our jobs, in school, even in our relationships.  If something doesn't settle well with you and you believe you're right....speak up....because quite often it is true....the wheel that squeaks gets the oil. 

Side note:  I know my dad is having a good chuckle because I learned that lesson some time back:o)

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Planned Parenthood vs. Komen Foundation....Pick a side or don't....but take a stand...

There's a discussion going on about the Susan G. Komen for the Cure Foundation recently announcing that it was ending its funding to Planned Parenthood (PP).  Yes, PP offers abortions; let's go ahead and get that part out of the way.  But, it also offers breast cancer screenings and exams to women, who might not otherwise be able to afford them, at minimal or no cost.  PP believes Komen gave in to pressure from anti-abortion groups.  While the "why" of it all may be relevant, there are other issues I want to mention.  Many people support the efforts of PP and agree that the services offered are necessary.  Others believe that Margaret Sanger, the founder of what was then the American Birth Control League and is now PP, founded the organization in support of eugenics, an effort to supposedly improve the genetic make up of certain people by using certain practices, such as abortion, sterilization and birth control. It's even been said that the goal was to outright wipe out certain groups of people.  While that's certainly valuable information to know in terms of history, one has to ask if that's indeed the mission of PP today.  The other question is, should women who rely on breast exams and annuals and even birth control from PP be penalized because of whatever political pressure the Komen Foundation finds itself under?  Now, it's my understanding that PP will launch a breast health emergency fund to help ensure that their offices across the nation are able to continue the valuable services.  But, at almost $700,000 in grant money last year from Komen,  a dent in PP's budget for those services will certainly be felt.
Granted, the decision was made by Komen late last year, but the announcement was only made yesterday.  I'm guessing Komen knew there was going to be a split among its supporters.  I have run and volunteered at the Susan G. Komen Foundation Race for the Cure a time or two myself.  The use of the pink ribbon, as an international symbol of breast cancer awareness, is connected with the Komen foundation giving them out at its 1991 New York race.  Both organizations have a storied history and both offer what some would call invaluable services.  Do the efforts of one cancel out the efforts of the other?  Most would answer no, but there is a divide.  Some feel that the latest efforts by the Komen foundation take away from its mass appeal as an organization open to the diversity and differing opinions that make up this nation and world.  As a result, they essentially support PP.  Others feel that their pro-life rights are more important than any other rights and thus, support Komen for no longer backing PP, whatever the reasons.
I certainly appreciate the dialogue and the freedom to speak on the issue.  It's Black History Month, and as a part of this country's history, I wouldn't have been able to have opinions, let alone write them down.  So, take a side or don't take a side, but do take a stand for something that matters to you and will ultimately help someone else... and possibly make this world a better place.  I think that should be the ultimate goal.

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