Begin Again....or Just Keep Doing What You're Doing...

It's that time of year!....No really....we say that kind of thing often, but with this being the last day of 2010, it really is "that time of year".  What time, you ask?  You know, the time when we think about the year we've had, reminisce about the good and bad memories, reflect, take inventory of our lives and plan for the year to come.  It's funny, my husband and I were taking some time this afternoon to reflect and it occurred to us that this has been quite a year.  We both chuckled because we remembered saying the exact same thing a year ago.  We talked about the changes this year brought.  We talked about a couple of the things we'd like to see happen this year and how we can help them along.  After that, we rested because remembering and dreaming at the same time was enough to make us tired :o)  I know many of you are like me, in that you will not call them resolutions, but you will make a mental note of some things that you need to do differently this coming year, i.e, lose weight, go to church more often, meditate more, spend more time with the kids or your spouse, quit your vice (be it smoking, drinking, sleeping around, etc.) Hopefully some of you will do that thing that you've been waiting to do for years.  Some will go back to school, others will quit their day job and start their own business and still some will walk away from unfulfilled relationships.  There are those who will say "yes" and "no" more.  So....I have to ask....what will you do?  I know some people who just think of New Year's Day as another day in the cycle of life.  I get it!  They're doing their thing already; they're living their best life; they're in a place where they don't need to start over and they certainly don't need a "do over".  Good for them.  But, if you're not that person and you're thanking God for another chance....then I ask again....what will you do?  My momma used to say that every year has its number. What she meant was that for some, this would be their final year on this side.  Well, this year saw daddy leave this world and as I've said before, he lived a full and wonderful life.  Now, if you're blessed to see another year...I ask....what will you do?  Will you make some much needed changes in both your personal and professional lives?  Will you do that thing you've been wanting to do but lacked the courage?  Will you, to quote the late Michael Jackson, "make that change for once in your life"?  If you're already doing that thing in your life which needs to be done, I say good job.  If you're waiting, I say the time is now....seize the day, go get 'em tiger, do you....OK... you get what I'm saying.   Whether you need to begin again or simply just keep doing what you're doing, may this coming year be prosperous and filled with all the love, joy and peace your heart can hold.  Happy New Year!

If you're happy and you know it say Amen!

What is happiness?  It' a question that becomes prevalent around the holidays because we put endless effort into finding that perfect gift or doing that perfect thing to make our loved ones happy.  So, can happiness be found in a box, under a tree?  Is it the grand job or great career?  Maybe it's being a spouse and a parent and doing it well.  For some, I imagine it's living conflict free; no arguments or disagreements with the people in your life.  Is it the blessing of not being homeless or hungry? Whatever your definition of happiness might be...I think you'll agree that happiness is relative!  I'm reading Terry McMillan's sequel to "Waiting to Exhale".  It's titled "Getting to Happy".   In the book, we pick up 15 years later to see what the four ladies are doing or not doing to "get to happy".  There's death, divorce, disappointment and the like, and I'm only a third of the way finished.  I imagine that they have to go through something to get something better, and in this case, that something better is "happiness".
I watched the Barbara Walters special on Oprah Winfrey the other night.  Well, in hearing Oprah talk about her life, it occurred to me that she chose her path to happiness.  When asked about kids and marriage, she was adamant that they weren't for her.  She said that she couldn't have dedicated herself to her career the way she has if she had children.  She also said if she and her longtime companion had gotten married, they'd be divorced by now.  So, you have this billionaire talking about her life and all the things she's accomplished that would easily make me and a lot of you happy; but she also talked about the things she hasn't accomplished or conquered and how she chooses not to let them define her.  Of course, her weight was one of the unconquered.  She also talked about her relationship with her parents, saying only that they were fine and that she'd been able to take care of them as they had tried to take care of her when she was younger.  There seemed to be some huge gaps relationally. But, in that interview and I imagine in Oprah's life, she gave the impression that she'd decided to be happy with her life as it is.  And what a life, right....?  Does her list of things with which to be happy far outweigh what most of us are working with?  Does having more money than you know what to do with equal happiness, or are members of the billionaire club seeking happiness in its many forms.  I know, I know....give you the money and let you find out, right!  I'm right there with you, but the point I'm making is this...each of us has our own world of happiness where we are, and it's up to us to define it for ourselves, walk in that happiness daily and look for ways to thrive.  From the fictional characters in a book to the life of a woman who seems like she'd be the poster child for happiness to each of us, the journey is quite different.  I have friends who have changed their minds about the marriage and kids they once thought were happiness.  Then, there are the friends who have changed their minds drastically about the corporate jobs that were supposed to epitomize happiness.  There are the lovers who have fallen out of love; the financially comfortable who have overspent; the healthy who've become sick; the trusted who are no longer... and so the list goes.  We have all these ideals about what happiness is, from the simplest to the most complicated.  It's when one ideal of happiness goes bad or falters that we rethink our happiness.  Well, think about it, but don't over think it.  Some will spend a lifetime seeking and searching, while others are already there and have been for a while.  And as difficult or easy as finding happiness can be I say....If you're happy and you know it say AMEN!

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year...

It  can be anyway....I believe this time of year is like that obnoxious friend we all have...you know, the one your other friends either love or hate.  The "holiday season" is like that.  It's a tough pill to swallow for some and a series of magical moments for others.  From November to January, the madness or the magic begins.  It starts with the thought of Thanksgiving turkey and the busiest days of travel and ends with the new year as we attempt to immerse ourselves in the newness or at least the beginning of the cycle... for better or worse.  It's a busy and full time (they're not necessarily the same).  You know, the time with family, the obligatory office parties that not only require your presence but also a covered dish, the holiday music (which I happen to really enjoy by the way), the elves (you know as in Santa....where's your inner child????) the shopping and of course the Christmas pageants or retold stories of the birth of Jesus.  It can be a very difficult time, too.  You know, the time with family, the obligatory office parties....you see where that's going.  I've found it to be a little bit of both joy and pain.  It's exciting because it's Grace's first Christmas. YAY!  We've been reading "'Twas the night before Christmas" to her.  She's actually pointing to the Christmas tree when the lights come on, and she survived her first holiday party this week.  Yes, she is a bit young to "get it", but she smiles and points to the lights and that lights up my heart with ease.  We talk about the birth of Jesus and she listens with anticipation.  Joy to the world...!
I also suffer a bit of sadness each holiday season.  Mom died on the 18th of December a decade ago, and there are memories of Christmas' of old that are bitter sweet.  We still have a pajama party on Christmas Eve.  We all get new pajamas.  Like I said, it's bitter sweet.  And of course, she and daddy are together this year which makes it just a little sadder for the rest of the family.  But, we are getting together here in South Carolina.  Dale, Grace and I are looking forward to being the host family.  The Wesson holiday season opener was in Virginia with Dale's family.  Grace's first Thanksgiving...I know...enough with the whole "Grace's first....", but she's only 11months and she's full of firsts.  Anyhoo, the holidays find us all over the place as is evident in this blog entry.  The presence or absence of the holiday spirit is evident in our lives.  Our friends and family pretty much know where we stand on the issue and they don't bother us to change.  So, as difficult  or easy as it is, this may be just the 4th quarter of 2010 with no bells and whistles and no expectations from 2011....or it could be a "really wonderful time" (if the "most wonderful time" is too far reaching) of the year...and there's still time to decide.