Does anyone believe in marriage anymore?! # I DO

I get it....Marriage is apparently not popular.  More and more of us are finding ourselves either in or surrounded by failed marriages.  So much so that when people find love, marriage is an after thought, if at all.  This latest tirade is as a result of the latest Essence magazine cover which, as I see it, celebrates Nia Long for having a baby and being decidedly single.  She's not working on any projects that the article mentioned, she said she's more emotionally mature than she's ever been and she's happy with her baby's pro basketball daddy, yet she has no intentions of getting married.  She talks about not seeing marriage work and not feeling the need to go there.  Well, I love Nia as an actor and progressive woman doing her thing, but I believe we were created to go there. 

Hebrews 13:4  "Let marriage be held in honor among all and let the marriage bed be undefiled..."

I get it.  It's a different time.  Whether we're talking biblical days or as recent as when our parents were married, marriage just doesn't hold the same appeal as it once did.  Women are in less need of being  "rescued".  Women and men are more financially independent and less dependent on God and one another.  Both sexes are more about immediate gratification and less about being in it for the long haul even if it's hard at times.  Couples are finding little value in marriage when the same needs can be met by simply being in a relationship or with a loving partner.  
And, that's fine if that's what you believe (not really).  The problem I have is when that's celebrated.  I get that I'm old fashioned or more traditional in thought, but I get upset when I hear "marriage is a business venture" or see prominent magazine covers with a woman, two sons and no fathers or husband present.  Yes, in reading that particular article, Nia's ex fiance, the father of her first son, is a part of the picture.  It also reads that she is in a relationship with her second son's father.  So, the men are present and perhaps even accounted for, so why can't the family unit be celebrated as much as the brokenness of the unit seems to be celebrated (Jill Scott, Erykah Badu).  No, not being in a married two parent household does not negate love and care and raising of children.  And yes, sometimes children and adults alike suffer in the traditional married homes.  I'm an advocate for marriage, not naive. In all fairness, I get that Essence is not a Christian magazine.  But it does have a wide and broad appeal, yet I find myself feeling less represented than ever.  In talking to a friend, she said she thought the cover was intended to celebrate and inspire single mothers everywhere, not piss on marriage, so she was okay with it.  Perhaps.  I just wish the discussion didn't need such clarity.  I also wish that more people, married and single would see more honor in being married and being in that joyous struggle versus being so anti establishment which often translates into being against the values of old.  Marriage can work if you work at it and trust in God.  I DO!

EXPECT MORE THAN YOU COULD EVER THINK OR IMAGINE

THE CLOUDS AND RAIN WILL COME...
A rainy weekend at the beach doesn't mean you can't have a good time or thrive. That's my most recent experience since I was just at the beach, but take the "beach factor "out and put in your most recent cloudy day experience.  Rain clouds don't get rid of the sun....they mask it.  It's still there shining brightly!  It's within our power to make the best of a less than ideal situation by deciding that we want it to be positive.
WE, ALONG WITH OUR BELIEF IN GOD, CAN AFFECT CHANGE IN OURSELVES AND OTHERS...
 We possess that power within!  Bosses annoy us and take advantage of their authority, babies cry uncontrollably, spouses hurt our feelings and misunderstand us....some even cheat and deceive, people take advantage of us.  All manner of less than ideal situations arise in life and we can't control them.  What we can control is the way we react.  We decide how the clouds are going to affect us and our sunny expectations.  Yes, it does sound kind of like I took an Eckhart Tolle class or am trying to tap my inner power source, but your level of spirituality does make a difference in how you see some of the tough, uphill battles you face. It's also biblical.
      Philipians 4:11b-12 "For I have learned to be content whatever the circumstance.  I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little."
MY INNER LIGHT WILL SHINE REGARDLESS BECAUSE OF MY FAITH AND TRUST IN GOD...
We go through things and sometimes our friends and family just can't imagine how we do it.  Well, Mary Mary coined it....It's the God in me.  It's not just my human, fallible, overwhelmed, unmotivated, uninspired, insecure, uncertain flesh.  If it were, then clouds would have me depressed, downtrodden, shaken, bowed down and maybe even dead.  I choose to love God, trust and believe in God and live God. 

What will you do in your rainy season?

EXPECT MORE THAN YOU COULD EVER THINK OR IMAGINE!

MOTIVATING....(UNAWARE)!

As part of the daily grind,  I was at the YMCA this morning.  I was getting ready to go into my intervals class when Heather, a regular in the class and at the Y, pulls me to the side and says she wants to share something with me.  She starts by saying that she was on the treadmill behind me yesterday morning while I was running.  She said she heard Amy, our instructor for today's class, come up to me and say, "how far are you going?".  Heather then says when she heard me say 4 miles, she looked down at the panel on her treadmill, saw 2 miles and shook her head.  In that moment, she says she decided she had to at least do 3 miles.  I started telling her how I was "in training" for the Peachtree Road Race in Atlanta on July 4th.  I tell her it's a 10K and that my training schedule has me getting up to 4.5 miles this week.  I then smile and say to her,  "I'm glad I could motivate you to do more!"  As we near the end of our chat, someone else walks up to me and she heads into the bathroom before class.  It was such a fast exchange.  It was so fast, in fact, that the details could have gone unnoticed if I wasn't always looking for God and good in situations.  For the sake of background, Heather is certainly smaller than me (not necessarily more fit), is active at the Y and does some running.  Now, I learned many races ago that endurance varies from person to person.  YOU can be a lesson or a blessing to almost anyone, so don't sell yourself short.  I also learned that while I'm trying to keep up with someone in front of me, someone behind me is trying to keep up with me.  Set your standard and help raise the standard of someone else. And, one of the biggest lessons I've learned over the years as a would be runner is....I have to run my race.  If I do that, then it's easier to be at my best and possibly inspire or motivate someone else to do the same. 

^{Mark 4: 35-36} That day when evening came, he said to his disciples, “Let us go over to the other side.”        Leaving the crowd behind, they took him along, just as he was, in the boat. There were also other boats with him.  
 
This passage is after Jesus has been teaching and telling parables to such a large crowd that he had to be in a boat while everyone sat along the shore.  Then, when he was done working hard at teaching, he decided to go with his disciples, his inner circle, and get some down time.  Well, he wasn't able to do that without other boats following.  Jesus had such a draw and attitude and message to the point that people wanted to be around him.  So it is with many of us. I think the difference is that Jesus knew his purpose and was intentional.  We should all live with purpose and intention.  We are being followed...in our homes by our kids and even spouses, on our jobs, in our organizations and even at the Y. Be worth following!


EXPECT MORE THAN YOU COULD EVER THINK OR IMAGINE!