So you say you want a man.....well, he's yours for the taking!

I'm probably on a tangent-slash-borderline-soapbox because I just came back from a getaway weekend with my husband; we're celebrating our 3rd year anniversary. I had time to reflect, look within, dream, fantasize, imagine...be thankful.
When I wasn't married, I too sang the anthem of many of my single friends and family...."I want a man in my life...a companion...a partner...someone to share my dreams with...to travel with....to grow with...I want a husband"! I sang it, and from family members to girlfriends to women I hardly even know....the song is the same. I know what the statistics say (they're not good). I've seen what's been written regarding single women over 40 (particularly black women) and the odds against them getting married. I GET IT....I REALLY DO....(yes, this is where the BUT comes).....BUT, he's out there if you really want him and are willing to compromise...YOU HEARD SETTLE....I said compromise. Girl, I have seen your list...Jesus isn't good enough for you. I mean, you need the list, but you don't need to adhere to it so sternly. Be flexible...YOU HEARD SETTLE...I said be flexible. Before I married my husband, there were things about him that weren't on my list. What, you ask? Well, without putting my husband out there, suffice it to say, we're still working on some of the things from that list. But, I saw many things about him that I did like and eventually grew to love. Be open to letting your list guide you... not hold you hostage!
And you have to get out there. I know...a man who findeth a wife...which translates to many of you that you don't need to be out "looking for a man". Many of you don't believe in initiating, especially if he's going to be more than a date or worse, a one night stand (YES, SOME OF YOU ARE STILL HAVING THOSE). Well, don't initiate, but get out so he can initiate with you. I'm not talking about clubbing necessarily...go to jazz night at the local talent sampler. Go to the bookstore, order a coffee drink and sit a while. Go to a friends house for their next soiree. Host a soiree at your house and ask each single girl to invite a single guy. Just be open to meeting someone when you're out. It happens even at the grocery store or the cleaners or the bank. Take advantage of the small talk that will go by quickly and leave you wondering what you should have said. Guys know the numbers and they know they have the upper hand in that regard, but like I always say, it only takes one to make a difference in your life. Be open to him. Pray and make your request known to God, put the energy out there when you go out, and expect him. Even if you believe there are no men out there, amend that to believe that there are no men out there other than the one that's out there for you. DON'T WORRY ABOUT YOUR SINGLE SISTERS. They, too, are praying and expecting. It will work out! Be open to who it might be, how it might happen and even how you might feel at first. Then accept that the man who doesn't fit your list and isn't as "fill in the blank" as you had hoped...might be your huzzzband:o)...and go out with him at least twice. Go for a coffee or wine at first because anybody can sit through a drink. Then if you make it through that, go out for a lengthier date and make magic (don't wait for it to happen to you). Be proactive (that's watch as well as pray for my Christian sisters). And if you are doing nothing and it's happening for you, tell me how you did it. For the rest, enjoy and be active in your singleness because the dynamics change once you're married (blog for a later time)...and if you want a man like you say....trust and believe that he's yours for the taking!


***I'd love your feedback either way....if it's too hard to comment on this page, email me at lenitaywesson@gmail.com or post a comment on my Yvonne Williams Facebook wall***