Wasting away and being renewed all at once...WOW!

Therefore, we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. (2 Corinthians 4:16)

I'm looking at Grace at play in the backyard making dirt pies, and I just feel overwhelmed with emotions. It's probably not a big help that my DVR'ed episode of Parenthood is filled with opportunities to be emotional. One of the main characters recently found out she has breast cancer and her daughter comes home from college and it's a surprise visit because the daughter wanted to be with her family after hearing the news and the whole family is all together and she tells them and....well anyway....you see how one might start to think about life. So, I'm often glad that Grace plays so well by herself seeing as how she's not going to have any siblings close to her age. Then, there are times that I feel guilty about it; not that she plays well by herself, but that she's not going to have any siblings close to her age. I mean, I COULD have another baby (physically), and some days I think it would be a great idea. But, most days, I'm certain that I'm, what I like to call, "one and done". Oddly enough, the topic of another baby is not exactly what this entry was about. I started out thinking about the things that make me laugh and smile and cry and...feel. There have to be those (these) moments of introspection in order to move. Then I started to think about where I'd like to move to; metaphysically as opposed to a physical move. Will I go back to tv news? What do I really want to do as a writer/blogger/journalist/marriage advocate/Christ child? When and where will Grace go to preschool? Why is going to preschool such a big deal? I mean, I didn't go to school until I started kindergarten, and I believe I 'm okay:o) I'm on the journey. No, really, I'm on a multidimensional path to change. It's a six week transformation process that my sister's church is undergoing in Atlanta through the vision of her pastor. I'm living vicariously through her and doing a version of it as well. It's supposed to change my life. CHANGE MY LIFE. That's a tall order, AND my life is fine...Right? I'm sure this isn't over...the feeling and thinking on what is right and pure and lovely and admirable. In order to get to those things, I have to get through some of my junk first. Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief.

EXPECT MORE THAN YOU COULD EVER THINK OR IMAGINE