Lima Beans, Sweet Potatoes and Turkey Legs....

One of my favorite meals is lima beans, sweet potatoes and turkey wings or legs.  I grew up on it and to this day, feel comforted by it.  Today my momma, who cooked me that meal more times than I can count, would have been 78 years old.  I remember her with joy in my heart because of the things she taught me (how to be a girl, a woman, a lady, a wife, a mom).  I know the seriousness of clinical depression because of her; a woman with devout faith, but real issues with chemical imbalances that would cause a need for medication to simply want to get up in the mornings.  I smile at some (many) of the things I say and do as she did because I now believe them to be true, though back then, I was doubtful.  I am a practical diva with only semi bourgeois taste that include designer handbags and shoes because ....I was raised that way :o)  (that's my answer and I'm sticking to it!)  I know that it's best to just...be quiet sometimes and let a husband (a man) reign supreme.  Okay, well....I'm working on it as an actual practice.  I am that I am in great part because of momma!  Continue to rest in peace...Marsell Bullock Williams.  You are gone but never forgotten.
Here's to her favorite poem and inspiration! 

Don't Quit

by Anonymous

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will, When the road you're trudging seems all uphill, When the funds are low and the debts are high, And you want to smile, but you have to sigh, When care is pressing you down a bit Rest if you must, but don't you quit. Life is queer with its twists and its turns, As everyone of us sometimes learns, And many a failure turns about When they might have won, had they stuck it out. Don't give up though the pace seems slow, You may succeed with another blow. Often the goal is nearer than, It seems to a faint and faltering man, Often the struggler has given up When he might have captured the victor's cup; And he learned too late when the night came down, How close he was to the golden crown. Success is failure turned inside out The silver tint of the clouds of doubt And you never can tell how close you are, It may be near when it seems so far; So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit, It's when things seem worst that you must not quit!

Ask and you shall receive.....

I decide this morning that I didn't want to squander my afternoon away watching tv (except for Super Soul Sunday with India.Aria on OWN and I missed it again).  Anyhoo,
I got a Facebook message from an old college classmate to call her because I'd been on her mind  (and in her spirit and God told her to reach out to me is the translation), and so I did.  When I say it was everything I'd already asked God for in my prayer time; I mean it was. I wanted to spend a portion of the day reflecting and then retreating so I could emerge with the things of this season for me.  I said in my last post that I know there is more work to do.  Well, God sent that in the least of expected forms, and when I tell you that she blessed my soul with what God has for her and what she's been through and the good place that she''s in right now...WON'T HE DO IT!  
I'm grateful for the revelations as I sit in what I'm calling my "grow room".  It's a loft area at the top of the stairs and it has some chairs and a chess board and other games and photo albums to see "from whence you've come. "  It's a small space with big potential and today I was able to maximize in it.  When I say God knows what you need when you need it.....TRUST AND BELIEVE! Want a husband ...God's got it...want babies....God's got it....want a better job...God's got it....want closure on a deteriorating relationship....God's got it...want to know what's next....GOD'S.GOT.IT!
Lord I believe. Help my unbelief.

EXPECTING MORE THAN YOU COULD EVER THINK OR IMAGINE!

The Fullness of Faith...

Is there any way to be a full time wife, mom and career woman, while also contributing to your community, enjoying friends and family and doing fun things?  NO
It's been a whirlwind.....I've been back to work full time for 5 weeks.  In and of itself, I absolutely love it.  I enjoy what I do and my job is a "get to" instead of a "have to".  That being said, I wake up at 2:30 in the morning to be at work by 3:30.  I miss out on getting Grace up and ready for school (Thank God for my husband!) I get off at 12:30 and am tired by dinner and knocked out by bath time.  I struggle to find the energy to do afternoon workouts, I have even less of a social life than I did before and it was already borderline non existent, my house always needs picking up, and I have to find time to even call and say good morning to my husband.  I know...I know...WELCOME TO YOUR WORLD, RIGHT!   I'm not complaining.  I'm merely stating that facts of my life.  It's a good life, and probably no less full and busy than the average working wife and mother.  But, at times, it is difficult to measure and value in terms of what I give up in return.  I am thinking about what I'm to be doing in this time.  I know it can't just be to get up, go to work, come home, go to bed and get up again to start over.  I try not to live for the weekend.  I find myself too joyful when I can sleep in until 4 a.m. (that's what time I usually wake up on Saturday's because my clock is off :o)
This morning, I got in my run,  a little housework, an afternoon movie with Grace and Dale, shopping for a few items and there was talk of a baseball game that didn't manifest itself... (GO SHOREBIRDS:O).
I'm grateful and blessed beyond measure.  I do question and wonder.  It's where these two meet that I find my faith the most whole and true and honest.  I'm doing that thing which I believe I'm supposed to be doing.  I wonder what else I'm supposed to be doing.  I want to do more.  I need to do less.
Lord I believe.  Help my unbelief.

EXPECT MORE THAN YOU COULD EVER THINK OR IMAGINE!